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 Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:54 pm
As long as the couples love their child(ren), there shouldn't be a problem.
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:32 pm
A homosexual couple can be just as responsible as a heterosexual couple. I see no problem with the homosexual couple adopting a child. 'Though if they start doing the whole affirmative action thing (gay people get children before straight couples so that a quota can be met or something), that I'd be against. But I don't really like it for races, either. Why should someone be chosen 'cause they're different from the "majority"? For all we know, the majority of people are secretly gay.
'Though I'll admit that most of the gay guys I've met are assholes. But I'm from LA; almost everyone's an a*****e.
I'm gonna play devil's advocate for a second, just for fun.
So. From what I've seen (which admittedly is not much), there are a decent amount of male ***** who are gay--or, at the very least, they prefer little boys to little girls. (This isn't a universal, but nothing that anyone's said here is, either.) Who's to say that one of the men in a homosexual male couple isn't a ***** like that? (If the word filter were still in effect, oh the amount of asterisks that'd be in this post.) And if said ***** in said couple hadn't shown many outward signs of it before, then the adoption people wouldn't know it, and they'd happily (or not) give a little boy into the evil clutches of this molester, and probably cause the child to have an awful childhood 'cause of this. Now, this could happen witha straight couple, too. But so could pretty much all the points that others have brought up about straight vs. gay couples (beating, abuse, crack heads, etc.). Who's to say that this is any less plausible than those scenarios?
Also, since someone brought up the topic of divorce, what happens to the child if the couple splits up? Since there's no such thing as gay marriage, they don't even need to go through the messy process of divorce. What happens to the kid then? If the couple if fighting, the kid might be, like, traumatized because he/she doesn't know what parent to stay with. It's not like a court can step in and say, "the mother gets him/her!" because... which is the mother? In a lesbian couple, they're both considered mothers. And a gay couple, well, who's to say?
To the thing about the child ending up gay: Those people obviously believe in nurture over nature. And who's to say they aren't right? No one's been able to figure out whether tabula rasa is the correct theory, or whether the way we were raised has more of an effect on how we act. Maybe it's a mix of both, and any kid raised in a gay household has that much more of a chance to become gay themselves. There's no solid proof for either side. So you can't really disregard this argument entirely.
<.< I don't think I have anything else to add at this point. n.n
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:42 pm
I remember in my psychology book, there was a case study done about gay parents vs. straight parents and how often their kids are gay, and the outcome was that there was more of a chance for kids with straight] parents to be gay then with kids with gay parents. Ironic.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:28 pm
[[SCREAM ME A LOVE SONG.]]
I personally have no problem with gays adopting children. In fact, I'm all for it. I support it.
However, when I was doing my finals last year. For my English class my final was to write a term paper on whatever subject I chose. I decided parents. The question I was looking to answer was which parent is the favorite? Mom? Dad?
Anyways, this has nothing to do with the subject. I just mentioned it because in my research I found that it is healthier socially, and emotionally for children to have parents of both sexes. Just because they learn about what's acceptable and what's not. And that also both sexes have different approaches on their child's future. A mom will look at her child and want safety and happiness above all else. A dad will look at his child and want them to be succesful, and able to take care of themselves.
I agree that this could be done in a home with a couple of the same-sex, but I'm just saying that research gives us more to think about. I'd love to discuss this further, but I'll have to do it later. It's getting late over here.
Until tomorrow, darlings. <<Remember my name.>>
<<You'll be screaming it later.>>
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:57 am
I've had talk about it with a teacher.
I've got nothing to gays, really.
But I don't think it would be a good idea to let 'em adopt children.
As my teacher said, for example, in schools these children with gay parents will be laughed off.
They'll be sad, sad, sad and bang, commit suicide.
My teacher said so, I was thinking about it and I think it's right.
A bit at least.
Just see how these jerks react in schools, they use 'you're gay' as a curse.
At least my class does.
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:41 am
im not doggin anyone, i was raised by one parent but i did have other role
models besides my mom. my uncles and my grandad, do anybody understand were im coming from? if not then i'll explain myself. For starters to be the most wise and lovable parents you have got to have two oposite genders two raise a child. there are 2 following clues help you
understand what i mean.
A: You're teaching your child how to be tuff and be a man, what is the best suitible gender as a parent that can such a thing?
HALO A MAN!
B: Who can best teach little_tiny_Tim how to be a ladies man (no not a pimp, not a cheater but A LADIES MAN...) and be in touch with his feminin inside? gee I wonder!
HALO A WOMAN PEOPLE IS MUCH PERSPECTIVE!
Like i said im not doggin anyone (sharing my opion. no harm...) just saying
if guys want to adopt a child then they should have a female in the child's life like a aunty, grandmother,older and grown cousin or even a close friend who your kid can call godmother...and ladies, for the one's who are lebeins even though you might like d**k you need to still have a male role model; grandad, uncle, close friend your kids cancall godfather.
Children are the most valuable assets on this planet and for them to have a bright and colorful future you need to make sure that they are ready to be the ones next in line.
ALL HAIL FOR THE NEXT GENERATION PEOPLE!
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:08 am
Marc, you brought an example to what I was trying to say. =]
I dug up my term paper in case anyone is interested. x] I think it helps me with my argument:
There are no two people in the world that affect us more than our parents. They teach us right from wrong, how to stand, they teach us manners, how to ride a bike, and how to survive on our own out in the big cruel world. Each parent is essential to their child’s life and each has their own unique traits to bring to their development. Even though both parents are equally loved by their children; most people agree that they are closer to one parent than the other. But what exactly what makes this so? Are the personalities of the parent and child more compatible? Is one parent more involved in the child’s life? Does it have anything to do with the gender and age of the child? Is it because mothers and fathers are just plain different? The relationship each parent has with their child depends on that child’s gender, age, and personality.
Parents are different and it can affect the way we behave around them. According to research, infants only 8 weeks old can tell when they are interacting with a woman and when they are interacting with a man (Stanton). Mother, out of both parents, is the one that holds a dear place in our hearts. Everyone has a special bond with their mother because she is the one that carries us in her womb. She fed us, diapered us, and encouraged us in whatever we strived to do (Hellmuth 43). Mother has always been there to make sure we succeed. They have a certain softness to them, and there is just something about they way they love us no matter what that makes them extraordinary to us. The thing about mothers is that they relate the rest of the world to their children. They constantly think about things in the outside world that could hurt their kids like strangers, disease, accidents, etc, and try to prevent anything from happening. Even when speaking to children mothers do it differently. Mothers simplify their words to make sure the child understands what they are saying. Mothers help children learn their first words, and to learn the basics of communication. Their way of speaking to children is more descriptive, and personal. Their tone is also much more encouraging than the male. They also provide a look into the world of women for both their sons and daughters. When a little boy looks at his mommy, he sees what not to do to become male, and when a little girl looks at her mommy she sees what she needs to do to become more feminine. And if married, mothers also teach their children what a healthy female relationship with a man looks like. It shows girls how to interact confidently with men in the future, and shows boys how to treat women with respect (Stanton). Similarly, the father also has a great impact on the child’s life.
The father is first viewed by infants as a stranger that takes away mommy’s attention from them. In the first few months, the child feels jealousy towards the closeness that the father has with the mother. It doesn’t take long, however, for the baby to get over this jealousy and accept the father as a friend (Hellmuth 44). Fathers are great playmates, since they tend to be a little rougher with children when playing. They are always the ones encouraging their kids to push limits, and test their strengths while mothers encourage the child to be safe. Like a mother is motivated to her baby safe, the father is motivated to make sure their child is ready to stand up to obstacles they will eventually face in the outside world (bullies, soccer tryouts, etc.). Fathers also teach their kids that some forms of physical contact, and behaviors have their consequences. Kids who roughhouse with their dads learn that biting, and kicking among other things is completely unacceptable. They help build their child’s vocabulary as well. Anyone knows that a talk wit ha father tends to be brief and straight to the point. Fathers do not come down to the child’s level, and use “grown-up” words. This way of speaking helps expand a child’s vocabulary, and linguistic skills. These skills come as a great help in the future. Dads are usually the enforcers of the house rules, and they do so in a sternly analytical way. They teach their kids the consequences of their actions. They make sure that their child is prepared for anything that might come their way. Fathers are the parent that is most likely to tell their kids that if they are not nice other kids will not want to play with them. They warn their kids of the consequences so that the attitude or behavior is changed. Not only that, but they also help provide a look into the world of men. Girls who grow up with involved fathers are more likely to have healthier relationships with the opposite sex when older, because they learn from their daddies how boys are supposed to treat girls. They also learn and are more familiar with the feel of facial stubbles, and what it is like to be held by strong arms. Fathers help make girls feel more secure around men, and help build up emotional strength. Little boys look at dad and see what they need to do to become manly, and are less likely to be violent because their fathers taught them how to channel their masculinity in the right ways. Another special thing that fathers do for their children is help connect them with job markets. They help young adults get their first jobs in the real world in an environment they are comfortable with (Stanton).
Some people believe that the two sexes aren’t that different at all, and that a mom can do all the things that a dad can do for the child and vice-versa. However, Dr. David Popenoe warns in his book, Life without Father:
We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies’, just as we should disavow the popular notion of radical feminists that ‘daddies can make good mommies’. …The two sexes are different to the core and each is necessary- culturally and biologically- for the optimal development of a human being”. (Stanton)
Even though some things can be given to a child by either parent, the differences of the male and female genders is that children are exposed to at a young age and cannot be duplicated. While the differences might not be noticeable at time, they are there and they affect the children greatly especially when it comes to their relationships out in the world.
Another factor that can affect the relationship between a child and his parents is the individual personalities that each parent has. There are hundreds of different kinds of personalities that can have, but there are general personalities given to mothers and fathers (Hellmuth 47). Most mothers seem to be very nurturing. Their main focus is usually the well-being of their family, and friends. They are the ones that stay up all night with their kids doing last minute projects, and supporting whatever the child wants to do. If a girl falls in love with gymnastics, it is Mom that drives her to all her meets. If momma’s little boy takes up soccer, she takes not only him, but the rest of his little soccer buddies to every game and practice. A mother sacrifices so many of her own desires for her children’s to make sure they live happy and healthy lives. They stress safety and are always the shoulder her kids lean on. And no matter what, she always is kind to people, and always thinking about other’s best interests. Tests show that babies are experts and interpreting the emotions at home. They can tell when mommy is stressed, or when the mood at home is loving and generous. Children are exposed to many different kinds of personalities early on, but it is their parent’s personalities that always seem to be the most contagious (Hellmuth 4 cool . Girls usually end up behaving similarly to their mother as she is their primary role model. If mommy bakes cookies for a guest, then the daughter wants to bake cookies a well. However, children can also pick up negative traits which are why mothers are very cautious about their behavior around children.
Father’s personalities also tend to rub off on their children. A father is usually playful, and slightly distant. They are usually the parent that the child knows the least about. Fathers give off a strong sense of pride and dignity and are the enforcer of rules (Stanton). They use their connections with the outside world seem practically unreachable. Kids early on tend to idolize their fathers, and always look for their approval. They will do whatever it takes to get Daddy to say he’s proud of them. This determined and cool demeanor is what kids, especially boys, seem to emulate. Boys seem to have an “I-want-to-be-like Daddy” syndrome from very early on. They see their fathers as perfect and they can do no wrong. They love to team up with their fathers and just do everything that they do. Boys and their fathers tend to usually have the same personalities or if not, similar aspects of their personalities. Daddies are the protector of the household. They defend the entire family from any danger that the world might throw their way. Most people view that father stereo-type as incredibly cliché but it is usually the case.
There are no personality profiles or tests that can be taken to prove that a couple is ready or has the skills to be good parents, so it is basically an open field. Many attempts have been made by many cultures to try and guarantee a couple’s success as parents and a successful marriage (Hellmuth 47). The only advice that can be given to parents is to make sure love and communication is always present in their homes. In the end, children don’t really have a choice about what set of parents they get. So they have to accept their parents no matter how different, or wacky they may be. Nevertheless, if the child’s well-being is threatened then legal action can be taken. Parents should know, however, that they don’t have to be perfect in every way, but they shouldn’t stand in the way of their child’s happiness. Most parents know how to do ton their own, and have very good relationships with their children. But the question still remains, which parent is the one that children are closer to?
....Wow. Well it's a lot. But I find it interesting. x3
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:55 pm
NekoGod :l
Sometimes, it's way better. Whats wrong with having two moms? Or two dads?
Quote one response- XD Yeah right. If they are adopted by gay parents, they will be more open and understanding to gay views since they were raised around them. They won't be instantly gay.
you don't know that besides giving them the right to understand just gay views since they are raised around them less understand how to be straight, plus by watching you two, there going to think that its right just by being gay and not right by being straight at all.
Quote two response-Yep, they are getting a home. They won't sleep in a foster home, and will be loved by two caring people who will take care of them.
D<
HORRIBLE.
Let me remind you there are 2 actors that are married who are adopting children in another country plus they have a good home to come to and they will sleep very find there thank you very much, but to use that as a complant makes you more ideodic than a straight guy.
Quote three response-Do you realize that half of all marriage end in divorce in America? That a lot of kids have never seen their mom or dad? They are getting two parents. I don't see the problem.
All that can happen with guy people in america as well you jerk!
Quote four response- :O
Why if that isn't hypocritical...
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:55 pm
I'm just going to say I'm all for it (Partly because I am gay), but I understand why people have ideas on how it wouldn't be too good of an idea. But I know people who have gay parents, one of my friends has two fathers and he's still straight, this is just one example in the millions of cases out there but still, it's there and viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way. I'm sure though, if they felt that way, which most gay couples wanting to adopt are probably going to be fairly family oriented, that they would still bring in role models of the opposite sex just in case they felt that there isn't any gender exposure or something like that. But usually in a gay relationship there is a "woman" and a "man" persay. I totally get the making fun of at school, but the parents could talk to their children about it and make sure that their child knows that they are loved and that nothing any of the other kids at school say matters. They could also make it known to there child to talk to them if anything about it is bothering them. The parents could also approach the teachers, or the principal or the guidance counselor at the school if they felt like their child was being made the target of bullying. I just feel like any couple should have the right to adopt. It's like the whole marriage issue, I feel. If a man and a woman can get married, then so should a man and a man or a woman and a woman. So if a straight couple is allowed to adopt why can't a same-sex couple do to?
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 8:15 pm
Bakusai Tenketsu I'm just going to say I'm all for it (Partly because I am gay), but I understand why people have ideas on how it wouldn't be too good of an idea. But I know people who have gay parents, one of my friends has two fathers and he's still straight, this is just one example in the millions of cases out there but still, it's there and viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way. I'm sure though, if they felt that way, which most gay couples wanting to adopt are probably going to be fairly family oriented, that they would still bring in role models of the opposite sex just in case they felt that there isn't any gender exposure or something like that. But usually in a gay relationship there is a "woman" and a "man" persay. I totally get the making fun of at school, but the parents could talk to their children about it and make sure that their child knows that they are loved and that nothing any of the other kids at school say matters. They could also make it known to there child to talk to them if anything about it is bothering them. The parents could also approach the teachers, or the principal or the guidance counselor at the school if they felt like their child was being made the target of bullying. I just feel like any couple should have the right to adopt. It's like the whole marriage issue, I feel. If a man and a woman can get married, then so should a man and a man or a woman and a woman. So if a straight couple is allowed to adopt why can't a same-sex couple do to? I'mjust putting my opion out there so dont be offened...you one of your friends right? but that doesn't explain the other millions of people plus your not with him 24/7 to actually know what he's going though, besides that he probably had a female role model his grandmother could have been so when you say something like, viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way, you was right in some way they won't but in some way they are.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:20 am
marc001 Bakusai Tenketsu I'm just going to say I'm all for it (Partly because I am gay), but I understand why people have ideas on how it wouldn't be too good of an idea. But I know people who have gay parents, one of my friends has two fathers and he's still straight, this is just one example in the millions of cases out there but still, it's there and viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way. I'm sure though, if they felt that way, which most gay couples wanting to adopt are probably going to be fairly family oriented, that they would still bring in role models of the opposite sex just in case they felt that there isn't any gender exposure or something like that. But usually in a gay relationship there is a "woman" and a "man" persay. I totally get the making fun of at school, but the parents could talk to their children about it and make sure that their child knows that they are loved and that nothing any of the other kids at school say matters. They could also make it known to there child to talk to them if anything about it is bothering them. The parents could also approach the teachers, or the principal or the guidance counselor at the school if they felt like their child was being made the target of bullying. I just feel like any couple should have the right to adopt. It's like the whole marriage issue, I feel. If a man and a woman can get married, then so should a man and a man or a woman and a woman. So if a straight couple is allowed to adopt why can't a same-sex couple do to? I'mjust putting my opion out there so dont be offened...you one of your friends right? but that doesn't explain the other millions of people plus your not with him 24/7 to actually know what he's going though, besides that he probably had a female role model his grandmother could have been so when you say something like, viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way, you was right in some way they won't but in some way they are.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:35 pm
Bakusai Tenketsu I'm just going to say I'm all for it (Partly because I am gay), but I understand why people have ideas on how it wouldn't be too good of an idea. But I know people who have gay parents, one of my friends has two fathers and he's still straight, this is just one example in the millions of cases out there but still, it's there and viable evidence that there is still the fact that even if a child doesn't have a woman and male role-model that a child won't be affected in some way. I'm sure though, if they felt that way, which most gay couples wanting to adopt are probably going to be fairly family oriented, that they would still bring in role models of the opposite sex just in case they felt that there isn't any gender exposure or something like that. But usually in a gay relationship there is a "woman" and a "man" persay. I totally get the making fun of at school, but the parents could talk to their children about it and make sure that their child knows that they are loved and that nothing any of the other kids at school say matters. They could also make it known to there child to talk to them if anything about it is bothering them. The parents could also approach the teachers, or the principal or the guidance counselor at the school if they felt like their child was being made the target of bullying. I just feel like any couple should have the right to adopt. It's like the whole marriage issue, I feel. If a man and a woman can get married, then so should a man and a man or a woman and a woman. So if a straight couple is allowed to adopt why can't a same-sex couple do to? Just my opion again: Ok well let me make this clear, because i don't thank you really understand what i was coming from either. who knows a woman more then a woman huh? who knows a man more than a man? you tell me because i might be confuse here. A man can only be a man...ONLY! and a woman, only a woman, so when you're born from a woman and you are a guy, you can olny be a guy. You think like a guy, you walk like a guy, act like a guy....oh and don't use walking and talking as an excuse neither because when ever a gay guy see a woman and try to be her, he is only imitating her whatever she's doing. you can only imitate what she does but still you're not a female at the same time...key words can not be a Female...kids aren't crazy, they know a man when they see one even though he is the female in the relationship he only can see a woman but he can not... ...CAN NOT! BE! A WOMAN! YOU DON'T FEEL WHAT THEY FEEL, YOU DON'T SEE LIKE THEM, YOU DON'T HAVE BABIES LIKE THEY DO, YOU CAN'T TALK LIKE THEY TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN, YOU CAN ONLY AND ONLY IMITATE WHAT THEY DO.YOU ARE NOT A MOM LIKE FIGURE WHEN YOU IMITATE AND CAN ONLY SEE WHAT YOU CAN GRASP WHAT A WOMAN CAN DO! YOU'RE BE kind of like..... LYING TO THE KIDS! ps. IT'S CALLED IMITATION. other words that is affiliated with this one... acting, copying, mimic, claiming, plunderer" or, an older term, "plagium or Plagiarism whitch is my favorite means; copying others' work and passing it off as one's own. yeah! seems like you're ganna be liying to the kids to me, lol.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:17 pm
I never said that they would be imitating or anything, and I never said that they would be anything else other then what they are. What I was saying was that there is a difference between sex and gender. Yes, a man is a man and can only ever be a man (unless they become a woman through surgery), but what I was saying was that in our society we assign gender roles to a specific sex. But these gender roles can be played by someone of a different sex, even though they aren't of the sex that the gender role is usually played by. For example, a couple gender roles for women are that they have no facial hair, and that they should shave their legs and whatnot, no? (This doesn't apply to everybody, but that is the general consensus of American society) Well, there is a movie called "Juggling with Gender" where the woman started growing a beard (a real bearded lady) as a teenager and decided against shaving it as a personal statement and as a way of proving that people can bend gender roles. On the street, people would call her a man all the time just because people think that women should look a certain way and that men should look a certain way. So a man can bend the gender roles associated with men in the way of nuturing and caring for a child just as a woman could, just as this woman bends the gender roles associated with women.
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Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:29 am
I don't really see anything wrong with it. It helps those kids that don't have homes, and the couple that cannot have their own child.
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Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:43 pm
Gay dudez [i do mean girls too .. i am just saying dudes but i DO mean
BOTH genders] should be able to adopt kids just like straight dudez.
We shouldnt say they cant have children just because they dont like
people of a different gender than themself.
And i would like someone who is against gay people adopting
to answer one question for me-
Why should straight people adopt and gay people not adopt?
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Reply
