Welcome to Gaia! ::

Nailah smiled weakly. She thought about the best way to go about this story. "It all started a long time ago back in Egypt. I was poisoned when I was nineteen years old and given an antidote. I was not fully aware of the effects of the antidote and all I knew was I would live an extended life. I met Nadai not long after I was fully recovered, a few months or so. We became fast friends and began to spend a lot of time together. I didn't tell him that I had been poisoned. I didn't feel like it would be a good thing to tell him, ruin the friendship so to speak.

Anyway, we continued on as friends and slowly after a few months we became something more. I fell in love as a nineteen year old girl. He was only twent-one. I was certain he was my soul mate. So I became his lover. It was a magical time for me, my first love. We were so much in love then. It only made what happened harder to deal with." Nailah paused for a second. She had to get through this.

She took a deep breath and continued. "Nadai and I grew older together, but as he aged, I didn't. He still loved me but I could tell that he was upset. He felt like there was something I wasn't telling him. And he was right. I wanted to trust him so much, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. I thought he would hate me for what I had done. I know now that I was wrong. He would have understood. And would have loved me through it all. But I was selfish. I had love and I didn't want to lose it. So I kept the whole thing a secret. When he was in his 45th year I finally came clean. I told him about being poisoned and becoming an empathetic. He was furious that I had kept it from him all those years. And he had every right to be. We seperated for a while. It broke my heart to let him go, but I owed him time to decide what he wanted to do. When he finally came back he told me that he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I explained what the antidote had done and that I would not age. I wouldn't die for a very long time. Then I offered him the last bit of the potion that I had kept for all of those years. Even though I promised myself to never give it to anyone, I loved him so much and couldn't imagine my life without him."

She felt her tears begin again. This part of the story still hurt so much. She wiped her eyes and said in a broken voice, "He rejected my offer. He didn't want to live as an old man for an extended amount of time with aches and pains. He wanted to grow old and die, not be forced to live an eternal life. I told him I understood, but I didn't. It took me a long time to finally understand that his request wasn't an unreasonable one. For a long time I felt like he had rejected me. He didn't love me enough. I felt so lost and abandoned. Now I realize that I had begun this process long ago by keeping my secret from him. We continued on as we were. But there was something missing. Deep down he resented me. I had stolen any hope of having a normal life from him. He would never have children and a stable family. He would die a lonely, old man. I still loved him and I tol d him that but he told me it wasn't enough. I went off to nurse my broken heart and left him to his life. Six years later he got very sick. Sick to the point of death. When I heard, I couldn't accept the fact that he would die. I again approached him with my antidote and again he rejected me. He told me that he was sorry, but he wasn't meant to live on. He told me he loved me and he hoped I would always love him, but it was his time to pass on to the afterlife. I refused to accept this and I even tried to force him to drink it. He died before I could."

She leaned her head back against the cupboards and sighed, "I don't know. Maybe he would have. Maybe not." She had never thought about that before. "Anyway back to the story:
That night I tried to kill myself. I didn't think I could live without him. But as I layed there next to his body, my blood spilling on the floor, I thought about his last request. "Nailah," he had said with his last few breaths, "live your life. I wish you happiness and you will find love again. My sweet Niah. You are young and have so much to look forward to. Allow me to die in peace but you need to move on. I will always love you and I hope you will keep a special place in your heart for me. I always loved you. Always." His words ran through me and I knew I had to go on. I healed myself and although I still felt weak, I buried my love. Then I went to the home we had shared and collapsed. I was weak from using so much magic, but the pain of his death was even worse. I needed some kind of escape. So I drank. i drank myself into unconciousness just about every night. It never helped of course. The pain was there when I woke up and when I went to sleep. Finally I put the bottles away and went on with my life. But every year when that day comes back I still drink enough to knock myself out."

She took his hand and stood up, stretching her legs. She walked to the table and sat down. She sighed, "I don't really know. The first fifty years or so it was to escape the whole thing. By the time the pain had dulled it just become habit. One I couldnt' seem to break." She saw a half eaten chocolate cake sitting on one corner of the table. She raised an eyebrow questioningly, "I know that you are plannning this banquet, but it seems that that cake has already been tried. Would you mind if I had a piece?"

Nailah smiled, "Khenu had chocolate? Did he go insane?" She dug into the cake and said, "Mmmm. Saradin I don't think you realize what a gift you have." The luscious cake melted in her mouth. It was exactly what she needed. A little bit of a boost after a good cry.

Nailah took another bite of the cake. As she chewed she thought about all he had said. After swallowing she said, "Yes. I am. You are the first person I've told that to. I'm curious though, why do you care so much about how I feel? You listened to me about my past and that terrible murder I committed. Why? You have no obligation to soothe my hurts. Yet you continue to be there for me when I most need it."