"HI!!" Replied the beast with an enthusiastic grunt, as he leapt off the rock he had rested upon and floated into the air. "Friend Buffalo's name is Friend Buffalo! Who are you?"
Taken aback by the beast's refusal to answer my questions, as well as his energetic and unorthodox greeting, I did respond somewhat hesitantly, "I am known as He Who Walks Amongst the Corpses of the Spawn of Cain and Satan Who Did Seed Their Corpses Like the Farmers of Mesopotamia Did Plant Grains."
"That's a really long name Friend He Who Walks Amongst the Corpses of the Spawn of Cain and Satan Who Did Seed Their Corpses Like the Farmers of Mesopotamia Did Plant Grains. We should shorten it!" Replied this mysterious 'Friend Buffalo'.
"Shorten it to what?" I asked somewhat indignantly, for that name did indeed take me a great many seasons to come up with that name and translate it into many languages.
"Friend Buffalo doesn't know. Friend Mooseltoe...? Help Friend Buffalo come up with a name for Friend He Who Walks Amongst the Corpses of the Spawn of Cain and Satan Who Did Seed Their Corpses Like the Farmers of Mesopotamia Did Plant Grains!" Shouted Friend Buffalo with great joviality.
Instantly, another of these strange half-human half-beasts appeared, only rather than a Buffalo, he was, as a name like Friend Mooseltoe might denote, a Moose. I was instantly sent soaring back into mine past for a moment, to relive my life as a happy and careless Moose-Child. And as I remembered, the Astral Plane itself did shift and shimmer in imitation of my memories.
"HI!!" Said Friend Mooseltoe, in the same cutely stupid tone of voice that Friend Buffalo had used.
"Um... Hail and merry met Friend.. Mooseltoe...?"
"That's right! Friend Buffalo is Friend Mooseltoe's bestest friend! And now you're Friend Buffalo's and Friend Mooseltoe's new friend Friend He Who Walks Amongst the Corpses of the Spawn of Cain and Satan Who Did Seed Their Corpses Like the Farmers of Mesopotamia Did Plant Grains." Said Friend Mooseltoe.
My mind did reel by the hapless and rapid repetition of mine name, which I did realize was indeed much, much too long and prone to the over excessive usage of the Copy and Paste command. "In soothe, 'tis good to meet thee, Friend Mooseltoe and Friend Buffalo. Might thou explanest what this shimmering land is?"
"Why certainly Friend He Who Walks Amongst the Corpses of the --" Began Friend Mooseltoe, but I rapidly interrupted him.
"HOLD. First, prithee, help me to choose a shorter name, before mine most valiant Control Key does rot from its hinges and collapse like the Tower of Babel." I veritably shouted.
"Okay Friend Jared. Anyway, see, this is the --" I interrupted the most helpful Friend Mooseltoe's speech again.
"Jared?" I asked incredulously, flabbergasted and bamboozled that my name of incredible length could be shortened into two simple syllables. "What means this 'Jared'?"
"Um... Friend Mooseltoe doesn't know Friend Jared, but Friend Mooseltoe had a Friend Teddy Bear named Friend Jared, and Friend Jared looks a lot like Friend Jared, so that's what Friend Mooseltoe will call Friend Jared." Replied Friend Mooseltoe somewhat confusedly, although not nearly as confusedly as his speech had indeed made me.
"Uh... Riiight." I said slowly in response.
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