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 Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 1:39 pm
i thought this was hilarious...but then again, i'm somewhat weird
A tourist from Bulgaria visits the United States on his first overseas
trip. Upon arrival, at the Immigration desk, he is visibly puzzled
filling his visa application. The Immigration officer looks over his
shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write 'Twice a week' into the
small space labeled 'SEX'.
The officer explained: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this
question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'".
"Does it matter?" the tourist answered.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:38 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:35 am
lol another one (i've signed up for this service that sends me them everyday...i find them great! A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came
home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did.
"Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my
bed, I called out, 'Is that you, Jim ?' And that cured him."
"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how ?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:25 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 12:22 am
hehe
are you people bored of these? because i can stop anytime...
A lady was escorted to a wedding by her 24-year-old bachelor son.
He appeared unaffected by the ceremony until the bride and groom
lighted a single candle with their candles and then blew out their own.
With that he brightened and whispered, "I've never seen that done
before."
She whispered back, "You know what it means, don't you?"
His response: "No more old flames?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 10:32 am
hehe...i liked this one
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to
meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you
embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.
The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled
from me?"
The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot
understand you, but I can interpret for you."
The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The
attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million
dollars is.
The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are
talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of
the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn
money is!"
The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"
The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown
suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"
The Godfather says, "Well.... what did he say?"
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says... go to hell...
that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 11:14 am
[x] Shilly carrot top. *glomps* [x]
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Xenedra rolled 4 20-sided dice:
6, 15, 15, 17
Total: 53 (4-80)
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:08 am
Faithfully...JourneyHighway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
Your're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire
They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
It's been you and me
And lovin' a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours - faithfully
Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours - faithfully
Oh, oh, oh, oh -
Faithfully, I'm still yours
I'm forever yours
Ever yours - faithfully
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:11 am
Carrot: I love the jokes...keep it up rofl
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:05 am
The Way You Love Me...Faith Hill
If I could grant
You one wish
I'd wish you could see the way you kiss
Ooh, I love watching you
Baby
When you're driving me crazy
Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you love me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you love me
The way you love
It's not right
It's not fair
What you're missing over there
Someday I'll find a way to show you
Just how lucky I am to know you
Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you love me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you love me
The way you love me
You're the million reasons why
There's love reflecting in my eyes
Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you love me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you love me
The way you love me
The way you love me
Ooh, the way you love me
The way you love me
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:55 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:37 am
Say You, Say Me...Lionel Ritchie
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
I had a dream I had an awesome dream
People in the park playing games in the dark
And what they played was a masquerade
And from behind of walls of doubt a voice was crying out
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
As we go down life's lonesome highway
Seems the hardest thing to do is to find a friend or two
A helping hand - Some one who understands
That when you feel you've lost your way
You've got some one there to say "I'll show you"
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
So you think you know the answers - Oh no
'Couse the whole world has got you dancing
That's right - I'm telling you
It's time to start believing - Oh yes
Believing who you are: You are a shining star
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
Say it together... naturally.
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:47 am
not my first post for the day, but this is stuck in my head
Let's Go Fly A Kite~ from Mary Poppins
With tuppence for paper and strings,
you can have your own set of wings.
With your feet on the ground,
your a bird in flight!
With your fist holding tight,
to the string of your kite!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
When you send it flying up there,
all at once your lighter than air!
You can dance on the breeze,
over 'ouses and trees!
With your fist 'olding tight,
to the string your kite!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:39 am
These Are The Days Of Our Lives...Queen
Sometimes I get to feelin'
I was back in the old days - long ago
When we were kids, when we were young
Things seemed so perfect - you know?
The days were endless, we were crazy - we were young
The sun was always shinin' - we just lived for fun
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know
The rest of my life's been - just a show.
Those were the days of our lives
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing is true
When I look...and I find... I still love you.
You can't turn back the clock, you can't turn back the tide
Ain't that a shame?
I'd like to go back one time on a roller coaster ride
When life was just a game
No use sitting and thinkin' on what you did
When you can lay back and enjoy it through your kids
Sometimes it seems like lately I just don't know
Better sit back and go - with the flow
Cos these are the days of our lives
They've flown in the swiftness of time
These days are all gone now but some things remain
When I look and I find - no change
Those were the days of our lives yeah
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing's still true
When I look and I find, I still love you,
I still love you.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:02 am
got this in my head now...must find CD with it on
Rock Ya Body (mic check 1,2)~ MVP
[Chorus]
Rock ya body mic check one, two
Cuz it aint a party till the crew run through
Shake sum body show me watchu can do
like Ohh-oh, Ohh-oh
Rock your body, mic check 1, 2
DJ spin the needle, rock into the groove
Bump it louder so the crowd wanna move
Like Oh-oh, Oh-oh
[Stagga]
Yo, I blaze the illest
So much skill, its impossible for you not to feel us
The realest, MC that you ever met in your life
I'm tryna see you work
Put a little sweat in your life
I got an idea, and it might sound silly
But I wanna roll your body in a tight brown Philly
Crack it, lick it up, seal it, air tight
Get a light, because you know we gonna burn it all night
And I just might, double the ice on dental
And if you double the price, Me and Vice rock in cmon!
[Repeat Chorus]
[Stagga]
Like BOOM!
I'll be at the hotel soon
We gonna put the lens on zoom, Benz on vroom
As long as you got the right perfume
Aint no body checkin out the telly till noon
You should get a Stag top, on the backbone
Stag rap, I'm peelin off them tight Sassoon's
Honeys stop breathin when I step in the room
And ain't nobody leavin when I set it with the boom
[Repeat Chorus]
[Vice Verse]
I like it when you work it for me
lemme see you do that boom boom!!
I like the way you work that for me
If you wanna party baby we can get together,
boom boom!!
Cuz you know you make me so horny
Maybe you a hottie when you get up on the floor
and boom boom!!
Never wanted someone so badly
We can leave the club, and hit the telly,
get a room boom boom!!
Lets go! all my ladies sing along cmon!!
[Maxine]
We can party till the night is through
So baby tell me what you wanna do
Got the keys to the hotel room
You know I got my eyes on you
Hand rubbin up and down my thighs
I'm starin at you with my bedroom eyes
The way I'm lookin', boy your so, so fine
an we can get it on tonight!!
[Stagga]
Kid, now, this rhyme is for the masters
In schools that use 2-pac poems to teach classes
Yo, try to follow when the turntable spinnin'
The sound is leakin out on the crowd, gettin up in it
See me coastin
The scene gettin frozen
He sound dope when, the words are composin'
D-Boys, break down, and flow like a slow jam
I be so damn ill, till I'm an old man
Stop...
Ya makin it hot when yall move
Stagg
I bleach the top cause I choose
Bruise
Tracks like the cat, Lang Hughes
In fact
I'm nice with the rap, can't lose
[Repeat Chorus]
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