Welcome to Gaia! ::

What do you mean I have to describe myself? Is this a riddle or a test; you sure you won't penalize me for messing up? It’s rather hard to do this without slipping into sounding overly docile, offensive, or egotistic. You really want me to try and do it?

My mother, from the time I was a toddler, always said I was an odd balance between curious and timid. When I grew comfortable with someone, be it the nasty wife of the bread maker or the giant blacksmith, the questions were never ending. After a few months of hard knocks and some growing up, I keep most of these questions to myself. Then again, like she always said, I cannot help but ask them. The timid part never really changed--it has actually gotten worse.

I prefer to blend in with the walls, or lattices if I am outside, and only approach when spoken to or when I feel someone needs my help. I avoid going outside and many times, especially when being picked on, people call me a shut-in or compare me to lonely women four or five times my age; that is not to say that I have any issue with elderly people--they are very wise. I am not timid in just speaking but in conflict as well. I truly prefer that no one fights or focuses any ire on me; I'll just allow them their opinion (and pretend to change my own). On the outside I bend like a willow tree; on the inside, even if my words say otherwise, I am more stubborn than an angry mule. Speaking of odd comparisons, my mind and tongue can sometimes get ahead of me.

I am a servant to my mind and it constantly seems to wander into bad territory. There are very rare times that I am not twisting a pencil into a nasty spirit in my head or viewing other things through a dark glass. These thoughts can sometimes drive me into a panic attack or into even worse hysterics. I really do try to control my mind. I do. I was just never a very forceful or intimidating person--my mother had enough of that for five high-born families. My tongue gets me into more trouble. Sometimes, especially when the way someone is treating me truly unnerves me, my words will flip themselves; it is rarely good to substitute the words for 'much valued customer' for 'much valued rapist'. I would have been fired, maybe with literal flames, if my "father" did not run the place. I do try. I also try not to be a shallow person and remember that all people are valued; being one of the 'cursed', I should know much better.

Who do I judge or who scares me? Most people that are larger than me or of the male persuasion. While some sharp-tongued women scare me, I imagine them spitting poison, I prefer them to men (who are not my "father); I have no issue with children or people of other races. What do I think of the cursed? I truly have no right to think anything bad--I am one. Then again, if you do it for a greedy reason, I do not wish to meet you. I did not say that aloud, did I? I truly hope I did not. Oops.

You can lay it down to curiosity, plain stupidity or the fact that I truly loved my mother, I did open the box. I have a weakness when it comes to those I truly love and adore. I will help them with anything; then again, for most people, I am more than willing to help almost anyone. But, I did open that box before that date. I can understand why. I always regret it.

I'm truly nothing special--just a little clerk for my father. I make mistakes like everyone else and occasionally come up with a decent idea.