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 Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:53 pm
Oh sounds cool Kiki =O other than the being sick part >>;; That sucks , I hope you get well '__' (Or have gotten well XD Been a while lol )
and Good luck Maki? XD I hope it went well =D But I get what you mean << just tell him you'll go out with a group of people >> I dunno, if he really wants to go out it'll be less strange for you if you're a group >>but of course XD Beauty has its downfalls -flips hair dramatically- XDD
~~~
Ermm nothing new for me <<;; I don't know...lol Oh got a new tv =D It's for my birthday, it's VERY early cause the tv was on sale so my mom got it XDand now I canw atch anime on it while playing on my computer biggrin It's awesome X3 -is watching Hana Yori dango while typing- whee
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:24 pm
I'm so happy to hear about that Maki! Do enjoy yourself, and never doubt that you're worth less than you truly are, or boy-repellent, heehee. Clearly this guy sees something in you he really likes, and I hope you enjoy yourself with him. And of course if you don't then he's not the one for you ^^. Happy Birthday as well.
And this part is cross-posted from lj because it's exciting...
I think I may faint. I've never been so happy before. My mother has given me permission to go on a May term to Barcelona! Freaking Barcelona! Not only will I got to Barcelona in May, come the fall I'll be studying in Paris! I'm aiming to go to the American University of Paris. I figured since I don't know French, and while I'm learning I don't believe I'll be ready to truly immerse myself in French culture in less than a year, it would be a perfect place. It's right across the freaking street from the Eiffel Tower, and , oh my god, I'm so happy. I'm going to Barcelona and Paris within four months of each other. I can't believe this, I'm so happy, holy ******** href="https://php8.gaiaonline.com/gaia/redirect.php?r=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aup.fr" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.aup.fr
There's the website. Oh I'm so happy... squeeeeeeeeeee. And I got an A on my history test, muaha. Take that Chandler! Heehee. XD spending all May with that man will be most amusing. Oh so happy... soooo happy. I've gotten all A's on all my tests thus far, it's just... wheee! I'm having the time of my life.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:39 pm
Wow Carcie that's awesome!! I hope you enjoy yourself X3 That sounds awesome X3
Happy Birthday Maki =D
~
I've been down lately don't really want to talk about it but eh >> Dunno..nothing much to talk about so yeah >>
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 7:51 am
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I really appreciate it. ^^;;
Ho'yay. A TV~ ^x^ That sounds really nice. It's always nice and convenient to have both a computer and a TV in your room. Even though I usually don't pay attention to my TV, I usually have it on while I'm on the computer. xD
Umm. Nothing much is going on with me right now. I'm going to NYC this weekend to this outdoor concert... thing. I think it's called the NYC Tokyo Music Festival and it's presented by a company called New York-Tokyo. OxO So yeah. I'm planning to do that and maybe take some pictures and stuff. ^x^
Things have just been wonderful lately though.
Oh yeah, and I didn't go out with that guy. I really don't think he and I are very... compatible, so yeah. Plus the night before I was supposed to go out my brother got into a huge fight at the annual Italian Feast in our town. He was jumped by some 19 and 20 year old guys. My brother is only 17. =/ When I went to pick him up he was in an ambulance, but he's fine, and the talk of the school, apparently. XP But I was just way too worried about him and I couldn't go.
Anyway! I hope everyone else is doing well too~
Nyuu. heart
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:34 am
Small update.
I'm sick. .__.
My cat ran away because someone left the backdoor WIDE OPEN. We found him, but I had to bathe him and he hates the water, so he bit me pretty deep. It hurts alot. He also has a hurt leg from getting into a fight with the strays.
Utada Hikaru is coming out with a new single titled "Boku wa Kuma" ["I am a bear"] on November 22nd. <333 A must have for me. I love that woman.
There was one more thing...
But I don't think I'm gonna post it. surprised
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Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 1:50 pm
I'm a bear too =D lawlz Utada Hikaru is spiffy , Koda Kumi released her new single too =O It's too calm for meh <<;;
Sucks that your sick though >< and also atleast your cat is back ^^;;
I do the same with my tv xd I just leave it on and then at teh end of the month my mom looks at te electricity bill and I"m yelled at to stop leaving on <<;; That NYC show sounds really cool =O I didn't here about that X3 Hope you post your pictures =D Also It's good your brother is okay O_O I hope he got a few good punches in atleast ^^;;
~~
Euh... Nothing much, three-day weekend not doing anything special except maybe go to the restaurent with my friend tomorrow and play Clue to annoy the cooks XD Fun fun otherwise << eh >>
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:03 am
People suck.
You make one ******** mistake. You try so ******** hard to make up for it. You want to let the person know you really care. All you want is for someone to give a damn, to accept you and love you for who you are regardless of distance, looks, and all the other superficial s**t in the world. But no matter how goddamn hard you try, it doesn't ******** work. At least not for me. =/
Maybe I'm just not meant to be with anyone. Or maybe I'm just not able to be loved that way. Either way it sucks. I wish people wouldn't lead me on so ******** bad. I fall for it so easily. I hang on to every word and fall so damn hard. I hate the way I am.
People ask me why I hate myself so much. He asked me what was so bad about being me.
I find someone I think is awesome and I give in completely. I let them know how much I love them. I'm there whenever they need me to be. I try my best to give whatever I can. And in the end I'm pushed down, ignored, and treated as if I never even existed in the first place. I'm so easily used and tossed aside once it's convenient.
That's what sucks about being me.
This is the second ******** time.
And it's the last too.
Sorry about the rant. I'm so ******** down on myself right now.
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 5:19 pm
Maki I know we aren't all that close and all but if there's anything I can do for you I'd be glad to, just know that we love you and one day it'll all work out for you ^^ So don't be to down on yourself, you're a great person and one day, some guy will realise that 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 5:24 pm
Tra la la life sucks, I've done nothing for the past month but get yelled at by my mom but eh, maybe she's right, maybe I am just an idiot rolleyes I mean if she finds all these things to yell at me about heh, who knows.
Otherwise, I'm screwed in math, I can't go to anyone's house except for school, my head constantly hurts and I really hate being home sometimes (hah my mom finally hit the nail this time when she said so but it's hardly home the problem, it's her and her antics)
And yeah...that's all...Oh and I can't watch a lot of anime since she says it affects my grades but even if I don't she's not here to see it so she says I still do rolleyes whatever.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:39 pm
Meh. I got it worked out. But it's not the same, and I seriously don't feel the same anymore. I don't trust him and it still hurts. I suppose I hurt him too, and maybe he feels the same with the trust issue, but it's different on my end. It's hard to explain how, but yeah. Whatever. I don't care who realizes what I'm worth. I don't want to feel like this anymore. =/
I don't want to be told I'm loved when the time is convenient for them. And I want someone who can honestly say they love me and not come to me a few days later complaining about someone else they're in love with.
But y'know what? I'm over it. It's done with and this is the last I'm gonna talk about it and the last I want to hear about it.
s**t happens and life goes on, right? Right. There are ups and downs and this was another learning experience for me. That's all I can really say about it now. *shrug*
Meh. High school is that time when parents really get on your a** about s**t. I had the same problem. I still kind of do. But you're not an idiot, so don't believe that. Being stuck at home always gets to you after a while. But believe me, once you're away from home enough it'll get to you. And whatever it is your mom does to you, it won't matter because you'll miss her regardless. And even though it seems like all she's doing is trying to get on your nerves and tell you what to do all the time, you'll realize that she just cares and wants you to be well off.
I think she should at least trust you enough to believe you when you say you don't watch anime while she's not home, but maybe you should talk about it with her and try to get her to understand that she needs to let go a little and trust you.
Sorry I don't have much advice for you. I have a completely different home life and so I can't relate much. All I can tell you is that it sounds like your mother really cares and she's not harping at you just to be annoying or make you feel bad. She means well. You just need to talk to her about how some of the things she says and does hurts you or annoys you. If you don't open up to her about it, nothing can be done.
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:05 pm
Aah Maki I know you're right ^^; But life feels so much easier just avoiding her << We may live in the same house but that doen'st mean I see her that much << thing is when I do try to explain things to her she either gets into some totally off topic thing or says something aolng the lines of "Oh I can't talk to you, you never understand" which is basically what I'm telling her but hey like Mother like daughter right? >>; and all I'm failing is Math anyway all my oter grades are nice and yesterday I got mad because a couple weeks ago I predicted this would happen and then it did, I was telling her my grades and she cuts me off going "Oh I don't care about what you did pass I care about what you didn't" wtf? great thanks everything else I do is pointless , ever heard of appreaciating what you have rather than what you don't? O__O
ANYWHO
Enough of my rambling, I failed another math exam, we're reading Romeo and Juliet which is way niftier than I thought it was =O and euhm..nothing much else lol I have off from school thursday and Friday so Friday I have friends coming over ^^ Finally <<; but of course only since it's for the ocassion >>; and yeah that's basically it... >>
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:38 am
Well, parents are difficult. A lot of them don't like to listen simply because they're the adults and you're the kid. Some of them just don't get it when you tell them what's bothering you. Meh. You tried, right? Eventually it'll get better.
I agree that she should appreciate the fact that you do well in other subjects, but I think she may have worded her statement wrong. I think she meant something like she wants to focus on your problem area because she already knows of your capabilities in other subjects. But that's just my take on it. o_o I could be wrong. sweatdrop
And hey, you should ramble here. That's what this thread is here for. 3nodding
I hope you had fun with your friends. whee heart
I'm having a pretty bad day. =[
Things just aren't going well with my family lately, but yesterday and today are just the icing on the cake, y'know? It gives me this ominous, sinking feeling in my tummy. I don't think things are gonna get better and I'm hoping to get something done about it soon so I can get out of here as quick as possible.
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:24 am
Hoshiz, update on my pathetic life.
Um.
I'm alive. The end. biggrin
No...I'm in college in freakin' Canada. NO CLUE WHY. Homahgawd. gonk Uh. And...I'm excited to go home in a week and a half. And I know I sound like a bad person, but it's more because I can see my 2 closest friends and I get to call people again! heart I know, it should be for family but I can't help not feeling so close to them. =/
...
ANYWAY. biggrin Not much else. XD Ha, not much of an update, ne? I'm gonna start coming back here. Hopefully one day this will revive. heart I may have outgrown Gravi a bit, but this'll always be special to me. <3
IknowImasapshuddup! scream heart
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:50 pm
Quick sum up of stuff.
I have a job. I'm a cashier. Crappy job, but it's something.
Currently not planning on attending school for the Spring semester like I thought I would be earlier. Instead I'm saving all the money I make to pay for something huge. The biggest thing I've ever planned before. The ultimate gift for myself. The greatest thing I could ever imagine doing in a million bajillion years and then some!
I'm going to be saving all the money I make so that I can pack up my things and finally move out of my house here in New Jersey. I plan to move away to Massachusetts to live with Maron and her parents. No lie. I'm really doing it. So after taking one last trip up there and visiting and getting things done, I will be moving up there. And after some time passes [a few years, of course], Maron and I plan to have enough money saved up to get our own apartment. :3
After my mom lost her job I didn't think that I would be able to last in this environment. So I decided to put my foot down and take charge of my life. Things aren't perfect, and honestly, I hate this job, but if it'll help get to where I need to go I'm willing to put up with it. The move should be happening in Spring of '07. So it's not too long a wait. x3
Had some guy drama. It's really done with this time. I lost my chance.
Oh well, I suppose it was bound to happen.
I'm really lonely at this point in my life. My mom is always drunk, my brother is never home, my friends always seem busy, I'm working now too, and I just want someone I can be with. But I guess it's not the right time...
Right now I have my friends though. Even if I can't see them everyday, I know they're there for me and they love me and I love them too. As long as I know that, I know I'm not -truly- alone. <333
There you go. Kinda long for a sum up, but yeah. xD
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:09 pm
It's a good sum up. 3nodding heart
...though I knew all of that anyway. XD <3
Um. Um. I'm in college. In Canada. ...I think you all know that. XD Sooo...I think I've finally made some friends. Just two people, but they seem pretty cool. I'm still "awkward" but we all know it's because I'm paranoid about people. ^^;;
Uhhh.....oh yeah! Reading Week is celebrated in Canada in February and I might be going to the mountains that week to learn to snowboard! surprised I was invited to! It was like "********?!" Because...I don't get invited to many things. sweatdrop
ANYWAY. I hope everyone is awesome and having a killer time. \m/ heart
Teh OGG...ya know, no matter how dead it is, this was the best thing to happen to me. I made so many awesome friends, better than I ever got irl. ...as sad as that may be. ^^;; [/end sappy-ness] <3
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