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 Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:40 pm
Well, at least she hadn't fussed a storm up or tried to be -too- protestive when Kanda had all but prepared himself to drag her to wash up. Certainly, to an extent, it was unfair of him to be dragging her to the tubs when he -knew- she was going to be needing his help with a good portion of bathing...
But to be honest, after their previous showering arrangement, they all were likely to smell like -death- unless they bathed. That included Shae. And dammit, he wasn't really inclined to have to smell ANYBODY anymore unless he damned well had to.
And he didn't have to.
He'd gotten to the tubs first, feeling the water to test how cold it was. HmmMmm. It actually wasn't as bad to the touch now as it had been previously, though he didn't know just how cold it had been for their starters.
Hmmm.
After a moment, he grabbed one of the tubs to move it closer to the fire. Ha ha. WARMINING UP THE WATAH FOR SHAE?
Possibly.
"Let me know if you need my arm for anything."
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:56 pm
Unfair? Oh, maybe it was... but unfairness was only a means of combating irrationality in the end, because even Shae herself couldn't defend that skipping a bath completely was wise. It wasn't, no; she knew that. It was stupid, conceited, and entirely selfish in the worst sort of way. Hell, she probably smelled just as bad as they rest of them had, pre-washing. Her skin felt absolutely coated in filth. It was wretched.
"... Right." It was the first thing she said, and for a while, the only thing, setting-- or rather, dropping-- the folded wad of fresh clothes down a few feet away, and went about mechanically taking off her shirt--
... Just, slowly. Tentatively. In the kind of way that almost hurt to watch.
Every time she disturbed that arm, it hurt, and trying to strip the thing of a sleeve was no different. Her only saving grace, really, was the fact that prison clothes swam on her, and there was enough room to finally throw it aside. The pants were a little easier, wiggling out of them in a few seconds without even bothering to hesitate. Much like Yossarian, she was too tired to care for shame or dignity. Kanda had seen and experienced all of it before, anyway, so there was no point.
And of course, she was no better than Hanna with her thin bones and mottled bruises. Even outside of that hideously colored arm, there were blues and blacks and yellows all over her: ribs showing the slightest bit, spine pressing against the skin of her back.
She sat down in the water without a complaint either, but it sent a shock and a shiver up that spine none the less. Good god, the water was cold. The air was cold too.
(... She just stared at bottom of the tub. Blankly.)
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Kanda hadn't exactly been paying attention to Shae's stripfest when he was having his -own-, fortunately having retained enough of his mass to prevent everything from just -falling- off of his shoulders, but gah!!
The water wasn't as cold as it -could- have been though, which was a good sign that he wasn't going to -freeze- in it. Then again, hopefully Shae wouldn't be freezing in it either, just settling in and sighing deeply while his muscles tightened up in protest of the clean water, not wasting any time before he went about scrubbing himself down.
Mostly his scalp, though, as the rest of his fur was short enough to not require a lot of help in the grounds of 'cleaning up'. Though he could feel a distinct difference in filth-levels between in-the-water and out-of-the-water.
Though Shae didn't seem as inclined to just jump right into getting herself cleaned up.
Then again, if she -didn't- start cleaning herself up, he'd do it for her!! And that -wasn't- an empty threat when it came from Yuukins.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:50 pm
... Well, she didn't have the soap, for one, which made scrubbing an almost futile exercise-- and besides, just touching her skin was uncomfortable as was; why on earth would she want to do more? There were bruises on top of bruises. Muscles ached. Her bones even hurt, and not just the mangled one. It was unpleasant, to put things lightly.
For a settlement with so many traders, the air was surprisingly still, she found, suddenly aware of her own shivering and the fact that her breath was visible in front of her. The shivers made that bad arm worse, too. Just everything was.... everything was...
There was an audible splash as she suddenly leaned forward and dipped her whole torso completely under the water: chest, head, face, everything, to stave off that stinging, twinging feeling. It was only a momentary dunk before she came back up, shaking more thoroughly, and now soaking wet in every part of her, hair clinging sloppily to her face.
A moment, and no, still, the stinging was there. She scrubbed at her eyes with her good hand and it did nothing.
... Damn it. And there she was, slouched, miserable, and unable to do anything but bury her face in that one palm, breathe deep, and try not to make a sound.
It was supposed to be a simple bath, and nothing more. Why everything suddenly felt so heavy and dark and hopeless and overwhelming, she didn't know, and probably never would.
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 9:57 am
Oh for =christ's= sake. Honestly, once Kanda had finished up with scrubbing himself down, the lack of progress from Shae just earned a very serious -leer-, followed by a very SOGGY Kanda getting out of his tub to..well...
If Shae wasn't going to wash herself, HE was going to do it for her, whether she liked it or NOT! That and he couldn't just watch her sit there pathetically like she was. It made him feel guilty, for some strange reason.
But at least his 'assistance' was within the realm of the kosher, mostly consisting of the soap in his possession being used to scrub down (ever so gently, though his 'gentle' was a farcry from Yossarian's 'Gentle') the girl's back.
Since that was at least not him doing something she was capable of doing herself. Duh!
"Your silence betrays you more than any noise you could make would."
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 11:35 am
Whether or not she noticed said leer was unkwown, but either way, she showed no response to it, and only when she heard the sound of that soggy, dripping, I'm-bailing-from-the-washtub slop that she finally seemed to pay attention, or at least twitched an ear, but by the time she felt 'brave' enough to steal a glance over her shoulder it was already too late.
And the most depressing part of it? She didn't have it in her to protest. She just didn't. So, like a resigned little puppy, she just sort of sat there, obedient and still while he scrubbed.
"... So would it be better if I cried out loud, then?" she asked flatly, and distantly, almost as if it were a question to the open air.
"I don't... I don't do things like this, Kanda." Do what? "... I-I'm responsible. I'm independent. I'm the one who doesn't break down because that would make me a burden to the group, and I have already wasted enough time in my life as an invalid, but..."
The ramble trailed off for a moment, and there was an audible, if not stifled sniff. It was pathetically clear just why she'd paused to wipe her face, and not because of an itch on her cheek.
"I did what Hanna told me to do because I was the only one that could-- I... I do what people ask, I always do, and I did it because I knew we needed it to happen. A-and ran for my life and I didn't yell for help when someone snapped my arm in half because that wouldn't be responsible and it was my problem to deal with, a-and my fault for being cornered, but I..." She'd been surprisingly intelligible until that point, but everything had to come to an end, and if it wasn't apparent she'd been crying before, it was obvious now. Depressingly so.
"... I'm so tired..." Yep, there, she choked. Physically, mentally, emotionally, she felt like there was nothing left of her. There hadn't been for days already, but only now did it come out, knowing she wouldn't be shanked or harassed by prisoners for it. She was still starved and exhausted and everything hurt, everything. "I-I can't handle this anymore..."
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 11:54 am
"....."
Really, Kanda wasn't quite sure what to say to Shae's sudden confession of pent-up-exhaustion. Certainly, there was a certain expectation of it, but at the same time, it seemed almost -unreasonable-, this idea that Shae had set up for herself.
"It's less of a burden for you to rest when we all rest, even emotionally. If you keep going until you break, we can't know when that will happen." he finally answered, pausing in his scrubbing to drop the soap into her tub in exchange for using his hands as a sort of 'cup' to rinse it off.
Though further from his only point, he didn't seem -too- inclined to do much else to try and 'perk' Shae up. If she didn't have the energy to be s-...
"I'll admit that you're responsible, though not always reasonable to yourself. What will you do with yourself when you're done with this lifestyle?"
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 1:49 pm
She was strangely aware of that dropped soap, too, ears surprisingly tuned to the light plop of it going under the surface, and staring blankly down at the little white-gray mass as it drifted around by her leg. It wasn't really that interesting, but what else did she have to focus on, short of the miserable burning tears in her eyes?
"... But the chance to rest i-is rare without consequence," she responded at first, so quietly that it was almost hard to hear. "At least, in the life we live, it is. The weak are targets."
And she, for all of her talents and uses, was still, at the end of the day, just that. Weak. When the adrenaline ran out and willpower alone could no longer sustain her, she was still just a small girl with a very fragile life, tied to a clock, that could shatter with one wrong move.
"... I... I never thought about it much," she confessed more audibly though, after a few seconds of painful silence. "The idea of stable work never seemed very realistic... so I just... didn't consider it much. I wasn't sure I'd make it that far."
But did 'wasn't' mean her opinion had changed?
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 1:57 pm
Well, at least she didn't decide to react to his inquiry by going 'AHHHHHH' and freaking out at him... then again, it wasn't as though Kanda had been -expecting- her to do just that. No, that would have been more like something a less-logical woman they all knew would do (Aster sneezed by the fire. Achoo!).
"Well, there are certainly lots of possibilities to be had. I'd say your fair hand at cards could certainly be useful in ways other than getting bar-tab-money out of drunken angry men.."
Ah ha ha! Since she'd done that FAR too much.
"Perhaps Card Sharking is something you'd fair well at. Secure occupation, I'd imagine."
It was just a half-suggestion, but once he was contented that at least a good portion of Shae's 'grime' was washed off, he went about taking up his own problem of rinsing off the extra sand he'd gotten on himself by washing -her- up, before drying up.
Though he wasn't exactly desperate to go and join Jade and Hanna's company -quite- yet.
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 3:17 pm
Oh, yes, the old days of suckering drunks from their money... not exactly a noble sort of craft, but it had gotten her through some hard times of pinched pockets in the past. Shae had nearly forgotten about those times now, funnily enough, and it was only when he mentioned it that the recollection came flooding back. How ironic and silly and... harmless that all seemed by comparison to the here and now.
"... Card sharking?" she echoed, actually seeming to contemplate the option. It sounded so appropriately mundane, didn't it? The thought was just... nearly beyond her, but it seemed strangely pleasant, too, short of-- well... "You'd have to be my bouncer, you know... gamblers get violet when they lose."
She didn't expect him to be, either. It was a nice thought in one respect, but... really? It wouldn't have been a fair pressure. They'd been through a lot together, but calling it a 'relationship' was probably an overstatement.
Anyway, though... it seemed he'd gone to finish up his own rinsing and cleaning, and she, too, had to pry her sorry carcass out of the tub for drying. She was freezing cold, after all, and just sitting there wouldn't do her much... so it was time to fall back on using the old clothes to scrub off as best she could, despite only having one hand to do it.
As for the new clothes... naturally, they swam on her. She managed the pants with her hand, and though it was incredibly clumsy and shaky and awkward (doubly so thanks to the shivering), but the real problem was keeping them on, because they needed a knot or tie or something to keep them from falling off her scrawny little hips... and she couldn't tie them off without...
"... Ah... could you... please help me with this, when you have a moment?...." Asking hurt, but she couldn't much avoid it. If she didn't get pants on, after all, she'd never get to wrangle in the shirt, and that was hardly acceptable.
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 5:34 pm
Shae was a fish!
Well, sort of. Kanda had half-dried himself when Shae made her request for assistance, prompting him to take a moment to quickly throw on a pair of pants of his own, fortunately not having to fight with them v his lack of hips. He didn't need no hips! Hips were for people who were going to have babies or something!
However, once he'd spared himself further indecency and exposure of manbits to the cold desert air, he'd walked over to help Shae out with her own issues of the pantelones, namely finding himself able to tie the back of the into a rather effective knot.
Good grief. Shae's lack-of-hips were possibly a rival to his -own- lack-of-hips.
Then again, she was probably 3/4ths of his size as well.
"Let me know if that starts to slip." he said firmly, before going about completing his own drying-up ritual, having to wring out his hair. Ah ha. Yes, nobody ELSE alive would ever see him do such a thing. Yep, not even if he and the swordsman were somehow conned into having a femme-off.
Then again, by Kanda's definition, Yossarian practically had ovaries by then.
"Sit by the fire for a bit while you dry off. It'll help."
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:23 pm
It was almost humiliating, in a way, not even being capable of cinching one's own pants without assistance-- but, if nothing else... at least she was lucky enough to have the help she needed. That finished, she mumbled her thanks and went about getting the shirt on, which was of course very slow, and very painful, and just generally, horribly unpleasant. He she not been so incredibly cold, she might've just skipped the step entirely while they were only by themselves, but the weather just wasn't going to permit it.
Her eyes were still stinging and red, sure, but at least the majority of the tears had just been cried out. Pathetic as it was, she just felt too tired to keep on with it. It was exhausting by itself, and she was already exhausted from the get-go, so... sitting by the fire just seemed like the best thing to do, for every reason she could think of.
At least there was a little warmth to the fireside, and it was... quiet, for lack of anything better.
"So... what about you?" Wait, what? What was she questioning of him now? "... When this 'lifestyle' is behind you... what will you do with yourself?"
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:34 pm
It was kind of nice to let his fur dry out by the small fire though, half-basking in it... and unlike Shae, he was omitting the shirt-step in favor of that drying. He was more likely to freeze solid if he didn't do it though, bedding or no bedding.
Though the sudden inclusion of bedding in their lives was appealing!
Which was sort of pathetic, once Kanda thought about it, having been so INDEPENDENT of it for a good amount of time. Alas! HE'D BEEN TURNED INTO A SOFTIE.. or rather, been given an amount of care when it came to the alignment of his spine. Stupid therapist and her sneaky-sneaky ways!!
Either way, however, it was better for the long run if he didn't wake up and pop back into place in seven different spots....
".... It depends on how long it will be before I move out of this lifestyle. To be honest, I can't imagine it happening without some strangely dramatic event to peel me into a 'settled down' lifestyle."
....
......
.......
"Settling down means my father can find me."
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 7:51 pm
... Shae had to admit, she was a little jealous of his resilience in the cold. Even with the fire, she was still shivering, only mostly dry thanks to her clumsy post-bath scrubbing and suffering grief enough from just the residual moisture. Her hair and tail were still especially damp, the latter stuffed into her pants (since there was ample room in there) to keep it from getting too sandy.
So, settling down wasn't ever really foreseeable to him, then, she concluded. That was all he could mean by the way he phrased it... while she, in turn, would settle down and be a card shark. It all sounded fine and good, short of one thing.
A sort of important thing, actually-- but one she couldn't quite bring herself to mention.
"... I see." A note of resignation in her voice? Oh, maybe. It was hard to tell by her face, though, blank and pale and red-eyed and transfixed on the fire so thoroughly.
"So then... you'll be a mercenary until you can't be one any more." Was that a bad thing? A good thing? Or just a thing? "... Is that only because of your father?"
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 8:03 pm
"Or until I find myself with a skill valuable enough to settle down in one place with. With my current set of abilities, I can't even play cat's cradle without tying myself up." Oh, bah ha ha! As if that wasn't just so -menial-. It wasn't as though he had to rely on such a thing to survive!
"Unfortunately, my only real talent comes from brute strength, which leaves me fewer options."
Though it seemed that Shae's... concern over this revelation hadn't been completely missed by the tabby, frowning ever so slightly but not exactly willing to press the subject any further than where she'd already left it at that.
"Though I'll admit part of my motivation in not wanting to settle anywhere is that I'm unsure as of where I'd like to be when I stop travelling..."
Another pause.
"No, I do know where I want to be; Anywhere but in the middle of this desert."
Ha!
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