I've had the worst dream.
So vivid and real...
I never realized it was a dream until the end.
"It's time to wake up now."
Sunday- I awake to a normal day.
Went out with my Grandmama and Mother as usual...
Came home, and actually helped put things away for once.
Then came the winding down for the night.
Strangely, I didn't express any want to go on the Mac and stayed in the living room with my Dad.
I don't remember what we were watching on the TV, it doesn't matter.
Around 9 o'clock... it happened.
Dad suddenly grabbed his chest, and shook,
His face was that of intense pain, and he gasped for air.
Before my mother or myself could reach the phone he was gone.
I fell upon my knees, and blacked out.
When I came to, I was sitting at the far end of the room.
I stared blankly at Dad's chair- he was gone.
I panicked: No, no- this isn't real.
It can't be real.
I was just day dreaming again.
Dad's here. He HAS to be here!
I stood up, and fell back down in an awkward way.
My body was fighting me, and I had to fight back.
I needed to find him.
I looked everywhere, and found that I was alone.
Upon returning to the hallway I found Boots staring up at me.
Instead of the eyes I'm used to- I was met with kind, compassionate eyes.
I told her I'd have none of that kindness now.
She practically screamed at me, then turned around and walked back into the living room.
I followed her half-heartedly, and sat down in the chair next to my Dad's.
No sooner had I sat down had Mother returned.
Upon looking up into her face, I broke.
She broke as well, kneeling down and crying on my shoulder.
But there, just over her head, the door opened once more.
It was Dad! He wasn't gone after all!
But... why was he in his work clothes?
Why wasn't he wearing his hat?
Why wasn't his ipod plugged into his ears?
He sat down on the edge of the sofa.
I ran to him and embrace him in the tightest hug I'd ever given.
Everything was alright, he was home- he was safe.
"It's okay, Okage."
I turned my head and looked up at him.
"It's time to wake up now."
I awoke at that exact moment.
My pillow was soaked and I had broken into a cold sweat.
Never before had I expirenced a dream so vivid.
In fact, I'm still fighting tears from it.
And I woke up five hours ago.
I'm afraid.
I know one day he'll die.
But... I don't want to watch it happen.
I don't want to see him suffer.
I don't want him to suffer at all.
There's nothing that can be done to stop it.
But, please, not now.
Not ever.
So vivid and real...
I never realized it was a dream until the end.
"It's time to wake up now."
Sunday- I awake to a normal day.
Went out with my Grandmama and Mother as usual...
Came home, and actually helped put things away for once.
Then came the winding down for the night.
Strangely, I didn't express any want to go on the Mac and stayed in the living room with my Dad.
I don't remember what we were watching on the TV, it doesn't matter.
Around 9 o'clock... it happened.
Dad suddenly grabbed his chest, and shook,
His face was that of intense pain, and he gasped for air.
Before my mother or myself could reach the phone he was gone.
I fell upon my knees, and blacked out.
When I came to, I was sitting at the far end of the room.
I stared blankly at Dad's chair- he was gone.
I panicked: No, no- this isn't real.
It can't be real.
I was just day dreaming again.
Dad's here. He HAS to be here!
I stood up, and fell back down in an awkward way.
My body was fighting me, and I had to fight back.
I needed to find him.
I looked everywhere, and found that I was alone.
Upon returning to the hallway I found Boots staring up at me.
Instead of the eyes I'm used to- I was met with kind, compassionate eyes.
I told her I'd have none of that kindness now.
She practically screamed at me, then turned around and walked back into the living room.
I followed her half-heartedly, and sat down in the chair next to my Dad's.
No sooner had I sat down had Mother returned.
Upon looking up into her face, I broke.
She broke as well, kneeling down and crying on my shoulder.
But there, just over her head, the door opened once more.
It was Dad! He wasn't gone after all!
But... why was he in his work clothes?
Why wasn't he wearing his hat?
Why wasn't his ipod plugged into his ears?
He sat down on the edge of the sofa.
I ran to him and embrace him in the tightest hug I'd ever given.
Everything was alright, he was home- he was safe.
"It's okay, Okage."
I turned my head and looked up at him.
"It's time to wake up now."
I awoke at that exact moment.
My pillow was soaked and I had broken into a cold sweat.
Never before had I expirenced a dream so vivid.
In fact, I'm still fighting tears from it.
And I woke up five hours ago.
I'm afraid.
I know one day he'll die.
But... I don't want to watch it happen.
I don't want to see him suffer.
I don't want him to suffer at all.
There's nothing that can be done to stop it.
But, please, not now.
Not ever.
