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i'm writing a series about a family. the mom has an ongoing competion with a neighbor that always has to be better then everyone and makes a lot of women feel inferior about their parenting skills. my question is has any of you ever encountered a woman like this and can you share some stories please? i basicly need a little more help with this character.

I've most definately come across people like that. For some reason ( I'm guessing because I'm a 19 year old mother) other mothers, and even people without kids feel the need to tell me that my son is going to grow up to be a pot-head, and end up in jai, because I don't have the proper skills to be a parent. I never quite know how to express my anger without giving them a beat-down....which I don't do, as I'm not to keen on landing myself in jail.

Sounds like an extreme version of my mother. I got mine to back off by saying "If you're so good, then how come you can't trust my ways when you're the one who raised me?" It's hard to argue with that. 3nodding

hmm.. well, thing is she never comes out and says she's perfect and how terrible i am.. just hints around it. because she'd never want to let anyone be able to truthfully say of her having said those things really.... but.. you can tell when someone is meaning it. but, i'll have to try that sometime. xd see what kind of reaction i get. i must say tho.. since we moved away from living with her and been busy living our life without her.. she's slowly getting better. lol. she wanted us to move with her into a new rental house.. and we were like.. yeah right. and she claims everyone will have equal rights. But we all know better; once we're all settled there.. she'll want total control and to run teh show cuz she thinks she's so good at it.

AMEN, Tessie! That's the main reason I never go to babycenter.com anymore.

I think it's just people in general and how they say things. Such as I did buy baby mozart DVDs for my son (all of them) and I don't think him being smart is from those DVDs. I think SS is a stupid show and Elmo bugs me to no end. I taught my son to turn off the televison when Barney comes on biggrin He's happy with baby mozart Nope I don't think it's because you're a 19 year old mother it's because at the very end of your sentence you say you don't have the proper skills to be a parent. If you don't have them then learn them. You express your anger by learning every damn thing you can about raising a child and then you raise a good child. At least that's how I expressed my anger. Granted he's only 4 and my other one is 18 months, but they're pretty good kids so far that listen and say please and thank you. Well not the 18 month old one since he never talks stare

OP just look at this thread for inspiration. There are so many parents out there that aren't sure if they're doing it right so they tear down someone else's parenting choices inorder to make their own choices seem better. Validate themselves as good parents. In past threads on different boards I've been told I ******** up by keeping my son (I was 17 when I had him) and that I should have given him to a nice two parent home. Never mind the fact that his father and I are married and have a nice two parent home, that I finished highschool while caring for him and while my husband was at bootcamp and tech school. Somehow I'm cheating him by being a young parent. xp There are countless women out there that even with proof of their kids doing bad stuff will defend the kid and say it's your fault. I had a child sneak in to my garage and steal soda. Not just any soda, it was my star wars limited edition obi wan kanobi can that i got after seeing my first star wars movie ever. Even though we caught him with it and yes I pressed charges, it wasn't her fault it was mine for having it in our garage while we were movie (eye roll). My favorite is when some brat hits my son and I tell the kid to back off the parent gets mad at me? Then there are the parents that have to one up you. If your kid spoke his first word at 9 months then their kid spoke at 8 months. If your kid is getting As and Bs in school then their kid is getting all As. If your kid is like second chair in band, their kid is first. If ..... well you get the picture. They're the type of people you don't want to share good news with because they'll turn it around to talk about their kid and one up you domokun

sweatdrop I can't help in this thread, but just wanted to say something in regards to the last post (edit, not any more because Luna posted again. XD ): I think she meant that they assume that because she's 19 that she has no parenting skills...not that she doesn't indeed have them. It's the same predjudice you mentioned having experienced later in your post.

Good points Girls...let us not forget about those people who say that if we put our kids in time out or *God forbid* spank them...we are evil, abusive people who shouldn't be allowed to have children in the first place. I am sick and tired of people saying that you should redirect or rationalize with a toddler. Yes, redirecting works well in some situations but there are times when you NEED to yell, swat or otherwise startle them to teach then that *for instance* poking things into the electrical outlet is bad. You are not going to be able to redirect them every minute of every day and I, personally, don't think they learn anything from redirection....it's more of a tempory distraction. As for rationalizing....please...they can't even communicate very well - how the hell are you supposed to talk them through things?? Honestly, there are times I have yelled, threatened, bribed, (oh yeah that is called rewarding) or as a last resort spanked if need be.....does that make me a bad parent?? I don't think so.....I see it more like I care enough to do what I have to to keep them safe and help them to grow into loving, respectful, good people who are able to function well within society. That's my rant....hope it helps!