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Aki_fox

PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:43 am


Hi people! I'm writing my own manga and I need some people to give me there opinions on it or suggestions. biggrin No stealing twisted scream !
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:45 am


Love, Live or Die Trying

Second page

Two Dark angels in the night

Clinging to each other

Keeping one another from the cobwebs in their minds

Bumped and bruised hearts find it hard to trust

Unless its one another

User Image

Back cover

When you have a psychic connection to every one including death, can you out run fate? Is the emo Rocker with an angelic voice enough to save her from death? Seventeen year old Mayu has a deadly family curse if she can not find true love by her eighteenth birth day she will belong to death. (skeleton has arms wrapped around her waist, Mayu has fear in her eyes and hand reaching out as skeleton pulls her into darkness, she has a white dress).

Characters

Main character

Mayu Rin

(out cast)

Appearance: black wavy hair

Big gold eyes

Height in real world 5 6

Pale skin

Age: 17

First out fit: red hair ribbon with black rose in middle

Red long sleeved ruffled short dress

Combat boots and black fish net stockings

User Image Top pair for Mayu. User Image Mayus home.

Second main character

Death

Age: unknown

Appearance: Height in real world 6 2

Long sliver hair covers eyes

Red narrow eyes

Pale skin

Outfit: black dress shoes

Black suit

Red tie and handkerchief

User Image This what deaths eyes look like.

(Mayus best friend)

Manami Nii

Age: 17

Appearance: pale skin

Big gold eyes

Light green long hair

Height: 5 5

First outfit: hot pink corset with black ribbon

Shredded black and hot pink skirt

Pointed black high heels with buckles

User Image The bottom pair of eyes belong to Manami

(Mayus Crush)

Kouhei Ishii

(Emo Rocker, plays guitar)

Appearance: sort of narrowed baby blue eyes

Semi athletic

Light brown almost blonde hair that almost covers his eyes

Pale skin

Height: 5 9

First out fit: black tee with skull

Black ripped jeans

Black skater shoes

User Image Im thinking about using this hair style for Kouhei. User Image His eyes look like this.

(Mayus grandmother)

Chika Rin

Age: 50

Pale wrinkled skin

Graying black hair up in a bun

Narrowed purpled eyes

Height: 5 5

Outfit: purple kimono

Wooden sandals

(fortune teller)

Lovel

Age: 35

Height: 6 1

Appearance: dark brown skin tone

Black straight hair

Narrow purple eyes

Outfit: head wrap color fuchsia with gold beads

Dress light green thick straps

Fuchsia slash

Bare feet

User Image Lovels home/place of business. User Image The eyes and the glasses are Lovels.

Disgruntled Youth (band)

(lead singer)

Daiki Matsui

Age: 18

Appearance: spiky red hair

Purple semi narrow eyes

Pale skin

Height: 6 2

First outfit: pink and black scarf

Black shirt with band name on it

Dickies pants

Vans checkered shoes

User Image Second one belongs to Daiki.

(base player)

Takahiro Yasuda

Age: 17

Height: 5 9

Appearance: purple messy hair

Kind of big blue eyes

Pale skin

First outfit: leather jacket in shades of green

Ripped jeans

Studded belt

Combat boots

User Image Im thinking about using these eyes for him.



(Drummer)

Ryuu Sanu

Age: 18

Height: 6 1

Appearance: tan skin

White mow hawk

Yellow narrow eyes

First outfit: gray ripped sleeveless shirt

Tight black jeans

Chain wallet

Converse black and yellow

User ImageThe fist eye is Ryuus.





User Image This pose I want for death and Mayu but death closer and Mayu needs to look scared.



Possible outfits

User Image

User Image

User Image

As you can see the style is mixed with punk/goth

Aki_fox


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:47 am


Dead Roses and Tulips


Chika- Spare my granddaughter please.



Death- Why should I your family has served me well.



Chika- You cursed us and we did not all want to serve you.



Death- Your ancestor knew what he was getting into.



Chika- I dont care I am not that man, I did not promise my sons only offspring to appease some ancient contract.



Death- Life is not all ways fair.



Chika- A bargain, can one be struck?



Death- What do you have in mind?



Chika- Let the child live until her eighteenth birth day and if she does not find true love by then she will be your bride and me, I will be a willing sacrifice.



Death- How will I know such a bargain will be fulfilled?



Chika- I will bind the child and myself to you.



Death- We have are self a new contract. (Shakes her hand and disappears)



Chika- (looks down at the bouquet in her hands) Theyre all withered and dead now. They were such beautiful roses and tulips my son. (She places them on her sons fresh grave) Forgive me.



Chika- (tears running down her face) I had no other choice.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:48 am


So any thoughts or comments?

Aki_fox


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:07 pm


Please no stealing or copying! Do not try to pass this of as your own scream . That is all thanks.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:16 pm


Looks great! But i think the grandmother should be older, like 60ish. Other than that it seems solid. smile ...Oh! and what about Mayu's parents? Did they die and she's living with her grandmother? OH! (another edit) which one of her parents had the curse....i keep submiting things then thinking of others razz

Chief Slappa-ho


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:17 am


soul_reaper15
Looks great! But i think the grandmother should be older, like 60ish. Other than that it seems solid. smile ...Oh! and what about Mayu's parents? Did they die and she's living with her grandmother? OH! (another edit) which one of her parents had the curse....i keep submiting things then thinking of others razz


Thanks! Hmmmmmm I was thinking about making her 60 but I changed my mind because I didn't want her to be to old to look aftrer a teenager. The other questions will have to wait because it's in other chapters, plus it will ruin the supense. LOL
PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:29 am


Double Vision Chapter 2


(Seventeen years later)



Mayu- Hi, my name is Mayu Rin and Im seventeen. I go to high School like any normal kid except Im not normal. What is normal any way?





Mayu- (giggle) Sorry about that I was just pondering out loud, you dont have to answer that. Any ways as I was saying, Im different as you can tell but what makes me different is that I can see things.



Mayu- Things that shudder me to the bone and make the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight. The kinds of things that make you say what the heck was that? Yup, that stuff my gram calls it double vision I call it just plain creepy! If you havent guessed what Im talking about its sprits or apparitions which every you like to call them.



Mayu- Theyre annoying at times but not as annoying as death. Wait Im getting a head of my self here. I got the perfect place to start! My Jr. year, the year that brings me closer from escaping the high school blues if I ever get to escape them.



Mayu- This is my best friend in the entire universe not to mention the only one Manami Nii! And this is our dinky little high School full of average every day people.



Mayu- And this is the day that change my life for better or worse you decide.



(continued in chapter 3 Love Struck)

Aki_fox


Chief Slappa-ho

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:36 pm


ooh, apperition...i think thats how its spelled, either way its not appreciation. That is spelled right just the wrong word...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:33 pm


soul_reaper15
ooh, apperition...i think thats how its spelled, either way its not appreciation. That is spelled right just the wrong word...


LOL, that's what I get for spell checking.

Aki_fox


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:48 pm


Found the right spelling for it. LOL, I'm a bad speller.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:00 am


i probably spelled spelled it wrong too xp ...And the first line of the 2nd chapter (i think) Chika says spear my grandaughter (pauses for laughter) i think you meant spare.

Chief Slappa-ho


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:39 pm


soul_reaper15
i probably spelled spelled it wrong too xp ...And the first line of the 2nd chapter (i think) Chika says spear my grandaughter (pauses for laughter) i think you meant spare.

LOL, your right!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 5:05 pm


lookin forward to the rest smile

Chief Slappa-ho


Aki_fox

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:39 am


soul_reaper15
lookin forward to the rest smile

I finished the ploting but the art needs to be done and I want that to be shown with the polt. Plus I want my partner to read it too, she's only read bits and I want her to see what she likes and what she doesn't.
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