Welcome to Gaia! ::

Okay so I go to get registered at school today(which is something I have been wanting ALL summer long 'cause I love and miss all my friendies in the anime club) and I discover that I have no money. Now that part is unimportant so strike it from your memory. My poorness is nothing new and is nothing that will change. What is important is that I ran into my english teacher. While I was talking to her she commented on all of my poetry(or at least the ones she had seen) and was shocked at how "perfect" and "skillful" all of my writing was. She then went on to say that that writing is the reason I was forced to join Newspaper this year. She then said that I was far better than her... Better than her? How can I be better than my idol?!? It is even possible?!?! *starts panicing* I mean... I admire her work and her ideals. In writing I have few idols and now two of them have said I'm better than them?!?! I mean... How?! *dies*
Anyway after a lengthy conversation with my english teacher I head off down the stairs(completely drained of energy from the shock) and went to visit a friend of mine. She has this odd ability to cheer me up no matter what. What the hell am I saying... Odd? I love her too deeply to stay in a bad mood around her... When I get there all she does is say how "hot" I look and ask me to take care of this stuffed animal for her. Me hot? *dies again* So there I was standing there dumbstruck and tired and now carrying a pink stuffed elephant. By now I'm half dead so I began the long trek home. Halfway home some guy is like"Heeeeyyyyy Fairy!!! Get yur fagget a** over here and asplain what yur doin' with a pink elephant!" To which I said"Hey drunkkard... Why don't you get your intoxicated a** out of here and find someone else to annoy." I wasn't too happy at that moment because I hate the violent drunks they anger me and when I'm angry there's no telling what I would do to him... He responded by looking at me with a shoclked and fearful expression and said in a rather timid voice"Sorry bro... I was..." and then he turned and walked away. I've never stood up against anyone. No one has ever seen me say no before... I've never spoken like that to anyone and it worked... Anywho, I continued walking and some lady asked"Is that there yours?" and I responded(truthfully) "Yeah..." She didn't seem to convinced and asked "why you carryin' it like that?" and I said (in a rather cold and passionless voice) "Because, if it is important to her then it is important to me. If she wants me to carry a stuffed animal than a stuffed animal shall be my burden, for she is the world to me." The lady looked at me like I was some exotic species and to her look I responded "Is it so wrong to feel such a way for a woman? Should a pink elephant be too big a burden for a man to handle?" The lady then had an almost eek look before she said "You have one lucky lady..." She then wrote a note and asked me to please give it to the lady whose elephant it was and just repeated"One lucky lady" before getting in her car and driving away.

I realized at that moment that I was truly as foolish as I was told by a dear friend long ago. I look too harshly at my faults and my imperfections and not enough at the good stuff. I think myself to be worthless and a burden for everyone and I realized today how foolish of a thought that was. No-one is perfect, that line is over cliched, and I too tell people that when they mess up. But that makes me a hyppocrite. You see, I tell everyone that their imperfection is what makes them beautiful and that is okay to be wrong, but I expect perfection and thing little of myself. I believe my faults to mean my ugliness and I do everything I can to hide that which I should share. In otherwords by having so many of my beliefs about myself abolished I have realized how foolish I am.

Thanks for reading I'm sorry it was so long but I had to say it all...

Bold? I believe most would say foolish but, thanks Rain.
Being nice to yourself is important but it is no lesson you can just learn... It sorta just happens at random(appearantly) but I hope things align to show your way soon.

What happened to make you not appreciate yourself as much?

Hmmm... confused

rofl Funnily enough I just discovered the entire population of the people who browse this sub-forum on a regular basis.

+ The supreme irony of life is that...

...hardly anybody makes it out alive. +

You are an incredible writer Belegorad. I too have had such a revelation, 4 people incited it. Llama was one of those 4. My best friend in Rl is another. The other two I met on gaia through RPing, one of wich is the young woman who lives in Utah who I hope to one day be with in person..