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THE EPIC BATTLE OF PINE LAKE!

For centuries to come, this shall be written in our children's history books as the Battle of Pine Lake. It was a warm day in August of 2003 when this dreadful tale occured. The Pine Lake Anti-Squirrel Militia had just been formed with news of a raid on a child of five years. My brother, my second cousin Chris, and my second cousin Katie were the members of our motley force. We were at a campground on Pine Lake with our grandparents, who had trailers there for the weekends. We would be staying the week. We formed when we heard of a raid on a five year old child who was walking without escort. We were just sitting around planning our mode of attack, when we heard noises outside. The soldiers followed me as I got out of the trailer to see what was going on. To my horror, two squirrels were tearing a chipmunk to pieces. We had fed chipmunks some peanuts earlier, and I suppose a few more peanuts were dropped, and as the lone chipmunk went to retrieve it, he was set upon by the squirrel thugs. I watched in horror as they tumbled around, and tore at each other. The chipmunk was mortally wounded by the much larger squirrel. A claw or tooth had tore the chipmunk's abdomen open. The squirrels took the peanuts and ran back to their stronghold. We ran up to the chipmunk, but quickly realized there was nothing we could do. The chipmunk was a mess. We tried to make him comfortable, and gave him a peanut, but it didn't help. He died right before our eyes. Right there, we vowed that we would take revenge on those squirrels. Our first offensive operation of the conflict would take place that day. We assembled first for a recon mission, trying to pinpoint the location of the Charlie. We found a few nests of the buggers in the trees. As we turned back to form a plan of action, a squirrel jumped out and bit Katie on the leg, and tried to scratch her up more. Immediately Christ kicked it and sent it about two feet. I brought a shovel down on it's head. We helped our wounded back to HQ, and carved a notch on the shovel to denote it's first kill. We decided that we would begin with a 'Shock and Awe' campaign, like that used by the Americans in Iraq. We immediately started hurling rocks at their nests. It just wasn't cutting it. On the way back, we got our second kill when Chris pounced on a squirrel with a net, trapping him as Nick brought a large rock down on it's head. PLASM 2, Squirrels 0. I then decided we should bait them with peanuts, and utilise the shovel some more. We requisitioned three more shovels from the occupants of the campground, and we made four smell piles of peanuts in different places, where we stood ready with our shovels. It worked like a charm. I got another notch on my shovel while Chris earned his first. Katie wounded one, but he escaped with seemingly a crippled leg and a laceration on his back. We now wanted a live captive, to show them what we were capable of. With a fishing net and the peanut baiting method, we captured a squirrel and took him to the boat we fish with. We had the perfect place in mind. There was a very small rock island in one area on the lake. We would maroon him. On the way there, Katie showed sympathy for the squirrel. She said she didn't want to kill the enemy anymore, and that he was cute. We would not have any disobedience within our own ranks. We held a court martial and sentenced her to being marooned. If she likes the squirrel so much, she should enjoy being with him on the shitty little island. We landed, and we bound the squirrel's legs with twine, and put him on a tether around a 5 foot high sapling so he couldn't get into the water. We didn't know if they could swim or not. We also left Katie, and told her we would come back in 20 minutes, but would make it an hour if she untied the squirrel. We then went fishing, but weren't catching anything, so we decided we could use some live bait. We went back to the island. We let Katie back on board since her 20 minutes were up, but decided against using the squirrel as bait. We just left him there. Three days later, the fighting had subsided. We had only killed one more squirrel. Another attack had happened, a scratch on a woman's leg. We found a squirrel near her place that probably did it. It tried to attack us until we fed it a peanut, then we caught it, weighted it down with a large rock, and threw him off of the end of a dock. The next day while swimming we dove down and found him still tied to the rock, except dead. We checked back on the island and the squirrel was dead, still in his tether. He was most likely killed by a bird, because he had a lot of his meat missing. We did our part against the commie scum, and we made the threat of guerilla attacks against the residents of Pine Lake a thing of the past. The squirrel hordes of that area have been pacified. We urge others to unite and fight the menace as well.

SQUIRRELS TAP!


To me, more proof that these bushy, evil, demonic creatures are watching ourevery move, and are trying to take over our communications in an effort to create chaos.....

I work for the local cable company, servicing the cable internet service.
One of our major problems for years has been finding squirrel chewed lines over by poles, however, recently we have found that squirrels were not trying to just take our communications down but to tap into them.........As I went into an attic to find out why our customer was having problems using his internet service, I found a small nest that would usually be occupied by birds, yet, all I found was a few bones and several connectors inside the nest. To my amazement, I found that the cable line was comming in and out of the nest. After I took it apart, I discovered a wireless link device puncturing through the cable (well spliced too - human fingers could not do such precision work!). Attics do not usually have sunlight coming inside them, however, a small sunbeam seemed to come out of nowhere.....I followed the light just to find a direct line of sight connection to the closest pole where I saw 3 squirrels (as if in a conference). I was spotted within seconds. I saw one coming fast towards me runnig on the cable line that came from the pole to the house (I have only seen military personel walk through wires up high that fast, hmmmm), I went into a panic. I walked as fast as I could to the attic exit, only to find myself surrounded by not 2
but 3 of these bastards. I thought I was done for. In a moment of
desperation, I decided to fall through the ceiling and into the customers
kitchen. In amazement, I only broke 1 ankle. I told the customer what I
had found, only to be laughed at by him and his family. As I got up, I
noticed that they had several cans of mixed nuts. The table and furniture were made up of what seemed very natural wood......no refrigerator......no dishes.....no utenciles. I never notice these things when I go in.....I was scared. They said I was nuts. Then offered me some. Then they proceeded to eat some with both their hands as they squatted.....with all my might I ran/hobbled. I got to my truck, only to find one of my tires flat, and nut shells on the passenger seat. Then I was hit on the back of the head with a blunt object. I passed out. I woke up about 2 hours ago by my supervisor who was wondering were I've been.....After I told him my story, he told me I was crazy, the house in front of where I was parked was empty. All the cable on the house had been pulled of the walls literally, and there
was nothing but both large and small footprints on the
carpet............................

There are traitors in our species, you will be betrayed.

I don't know if this is will be my last experience with these rodents, but I can only hope that they will let me be. I have since armed myself with
various knives and guns to protect me and my family. My dogs are my first line of defense if they decide to come. If they come, I will be brave, and if its war they want, WAR THEY'LL GET...

Squirrel Facts & Information

Fact 1: Squirrels deliberately try to make drivers crash their vehicles by suddenly running across the street. Most people slam on the breaks and/or swerve their car erratically in such scenarios. It's a natural reaction and Squirrels know and exploit this, especially on wet or frozen roads. Other people just prefer to run right over them.

Ask yourself the following questions: 'Is avoiding a squirrel who is running across the highway worth swerving to avoid and in the process dying in a fireball explosion as my car skids off the pavement and plummets into a 2000 foot deep chasm of doom?' Is a squirrel's life worth slamming on the brakes on an icy road, sliding out of control and violently hitting a telephone pole causing me to get ejected from my car and then sailing headfirst into a random pool of acid, rendering me, well, dead to be quite frank with myself?'

I don't think so!

Ask yourself, the next time you get behind the wheel of your car, 'Is avoiding a lowly squirrel worth jerking my steering wheel in a spastic manner, causing my vehicle to careen onto a railroad track resulting in a head-on collision with a freight train, somehow travelling at a rate of 200 miles per hour, my vehicle folding around me, violently pulverized me into a sickening cloud of red mist and chunks of flesh and bone fragments?'

This isn't rocket science, folks. The bottom line: Don't risk your life to avoid a squirrel that doesn't belong on any street or highway to begin with! (Unless it's dead of course.)







Fact 2: Humans are not exclusively targeted as objects of domination by the squirrels. The squirrels are also plotting to take over the ducks and other water fowl of the world as well. Why, nobody knows just yet. We at GASC speculate that the squirrels wish to have control of the lakes and ponds of the world for whatever reasons.


Fact 3: Not all squirrels are evil! There are actually rebels that are against the world domination of squirrels. There are not too many of them around and they are very secretive. Rebel squirrels face torture and/or death if caught. Below is a picture of a rebel squirrel. Notice the worried expression on his face? The cause for worry is rebel squirrels are considered traitors, their acts treason. All rebel squirrels are marked for death and are therefore constantly paranoid and worried.



This is one such rebel squirrel- note the distinctly worried look in it's beady eyes.

YES PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

This would be Chevy Backers, he is known for publishing illegal squirrel porn and killing humans by making them look at the hideous naked animals.
Please, if you find this wanted creature, don't hesitate to call GASC!

Top Ten Reasons Why Squirrels Are Satanic
You saw the header, now here are the reasons.


10. You always see them scurrying about soooo fast. But what are they running for? Huh?

9. Inside each and every one of their hollow trees, there is a portal to hell.

8. You think those nuts they are always eating are acorns? HA! Then you don't know HOW the men in hell are being tortured...

7. They gather in groups every day, to discuss what to do with the insolent fools called humans!

6. How many of you have seen a squirrel in Heaven, anyway?

5. Have any of you seen the Clusters commercials?

4. Reread the bible. It says Thou shalt never covet a squirrel, for they art the heathen spawn of the unholy lawyer, Satan himself.

3. Ah, you think that their innocent banter is really squrrel chatter, but THEY SPEAK IN TONGUES!!! YESSSSS......

2. There were no squirrels on Noah's ark. How do explain their existence? Could it be.... SATAN!!!

1. Look out your window. There is one looking at you RIGHT NOW. And if you don't see it, trust me, it's there... (we advise destroying all trees in a three mile radius of your home to prevent an attempted assasination- beware your neighbors- they could be in alliance with the enemy!)



one such satanic beast- observe the sadistic eating of the nut ritual- said to open a portal to hell in your toilet, so that the next time you take a dump, it takes hours!! They blame this on spicy burritos but oh we at GASC know better than this mind trickery!!

Post by Lokivia-
DELICOUS SQUIRREL RECIPES BELOW!



Tart-N-Tasty Squirrel

Ingredients:

3 pounds squirrel, pieced
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 teaspoon crushed black pepper
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon celery salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

Season squirrel with salt and pepper. Heat olive oil and brown squirrel. Remove squirrel, drain skillet. In a mixing bowl combine all remaining ingredients, mix well. Place squirrel back in skillet, add mixture, stir to mix. Cover and simmer for about 45 minutes, serve. Serve with mashed potatoes or french fries, fresh salad, and hot bisquits.

Skwerly Dog treets
Skwerly Dawg Treets

get u shotgun , blast 5 of them skally wags, pull off thier little skins, jerk out them there guts. wash em, stick em in a fried pan, make um fried, get em out. order big pizza with eveything on that son of a gun buddy, eat pizza feed them there skally wags to you doog.



WV_Hunter's Terriaki Squirrel (YUM-YUM)
Ingredients:
2 Squirrels
1 Bottle Terriaki glaze
Katsup
Applesauce
Molasses
Horseraddish
Minute Rice

Skin and quarter squirrels. Put them in salted water and boil them. Reeduce heat and let simmer for 45 minutes. Remove meat from bone. Cut up into small sections. Mix all other ingredients together, glaze and bake in oven for 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve over rice.


Yum Yum Squirrel!
Need:
1 med. onion
42 large tomatos
2 quarts chunky monkey ice cream
Auntie Evalyn's corset
1 large SUV
large open space
lots of skwerls
7 or eight bottle of vodka
Antie Evalyn

1. Take skwerls, let loose in 'large open space'.
2. Feed Antie Evalyn the vodka, place in SUV. Let loose in same open space as skwerls.
3. Scrape skwerls off tires.
4. Throw all the stff in a big bowl.
5. Cook for a while in an oven.
6. Serve for dinner.
7. Blame Auntie Evalyn. Note: If she's sober by then, contine adding vodka... and maybe add some to the food too... everything tastes better with vodka.


Squirrel Soup
1 ea Small Squirrel
2 l Water
1 t Salt
1 ea Tin corn*
Any other vegies desired
1 pn Celery leaves
1 pn Parsley
Flour or gravox* to thicken
Fried bread,1 slice per serv

Skin and clean Squirrel, then quarter the animal. (Video tape this please. I have no idea how to do it. Also "first you have to catch a Squirrel", but then that's another story.) Place it in a large pot or camp oven along with water and salt. Cover and simmer gently for 3 hours. Add vegetables and simmer for another 1 1/2 hours (Still tough. Even the vegies are resisting being associated with this.) Strain soup through a large holed colander when meat has left bone and remove bones, especially small ones. Return soup to the pot and add parsley and celery leaves. Thicken with a little flour or gravox. Cut fried bread into 1 inch squares and serve soup over toast, boiling hot.

Bald Knob Squirl Brains over Ramps w' Chicken Gizzrds fer Two
Ingredients 1 peck freshly picked ramps
10-12 Large Squirl heads
2 dozen chicken gizzrds
1 head garlik
1/4 lb fat back
1 Tbls. cracked black pepper.
2 tbls. cayenne pepper.
salt to taste

Put the heads from the squirls in a bag and put in freezer. After you got enuf frozen heads proceed as follows:

1. Use nutcracker on the heads to get the brains out in a bowl. Pitch whats left.
2. Cut fat back into small bits and heat in 2 gal pot with spices.
3. Clean and rinse ramps and cook down in the hot kettle with spicy fatback.
4. Put cooked ramps in a bowl. Take the kettle with the fatback off the fire for a while.
5. If the brains are still frozen use a hammer to break em into small chunks. Do this in a towel like crushin ice so bits don't scatter too far. Chop up gizzards and mix with the brains.
6. Peel garlic, chop into chunks, put in the kettle and put it back on the fire.
7. When the garlic starts to turn, add the brains n gizzards to the kettle and stir while cookin for a few minutes til it all gets a little brown.
8. Take kettle away from fire and drain grease into coffee can for future cookin. Split ramps between two plates and spoon meat and garlic over top.

Enjoy with yer favorite beverage. Don't either of you bother see'in anybody else for several days until yer BO returns to normal.
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Skwerl-Onna-Stick - By Mountian Man Mark

Geta gun and your best girl, preferribly the one with no wool. Go out into the woods and look for a good ottta way place and throw her down, when the squirrels hers dem nuts clacking together an' come runnin, have yer best girl shoots da biggest one! Cook over a medium open fire on a stick for about 30 minutes and eat the hell out of it, ( the squirell).



Newfoundland Squirrel Patties
This is a recipe out of an old cook book I have:

3 squirrels
1 cup grated potatoes
1 medium to large onion, minced
1 tbl catsup
2 tbls fine dry breadcrumbs
1 egg
salt and black pepper to taste

Skin, gut and cut up the squirrels. Put them in a pot of salted water and boil them. reduce the heat and let 'em simmer for an hour or until the meat is tender and can be easily removed from the bone. Cut the meat into small pieces. Put it in a bowl and add in the other ingredients and mix in a little bacon grease. Then make patties out of the mix and fry them in bacon grease until golden brown. You can vary the recipe. I think it tastes better with chives instead of minced onion or no onion at all. Serve with greens, beans or whatever suits you. Yummmmmmy!!!
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Kentucky Fried Skwerl by Anna

First go skwerl huntin and kill you a couple of em. Skin em, gut em, Keep only the front and back legs and the back. Soak em overnight in saltwater. Go to Kmart. Get the Kentucky Kernel brand seasoned flour. Get a skillet of oil hot. Dip yer skwerls in the flour and throw em in the oil. Cook about 5 min, turn em over, cover, cook about 15 min, turn em over, cover, cook another 15. This is yummy, better than chikin!

New Yory City Squirrel
go to 5th avenue and 42ns street
scrape squireel off pavement
add onion, pepper, garlic powder
fry in oil for 15 minutes


Ded Squirell
Take yore daddy's 'ought-six buzzard gun an yore lil ol fice cocker b***h an go skwerl huntin. wen yo sees 'im in yer sights, blast the little basterd t' kingdom come! Pik up de bits wif medisinal tweezez or yore teef an cook em up good fore the mongrel dogs get at it. an have yoursehf a feast!
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You people are the most disgusting people I've ever heard of. Just take a ******** bite out of the squirrel as soon as you catch it! Sheesh.


Engine Cooked Skwerl with Sweet Skwerl Sauce
Must collect skwerl only on night when moon is on it's back... them skwerls be just ripe then. Take em home & pay tug e war with yer pit bull for 2 minutes. Once you got em killed and tenderized bring em inside garage and place in engine for 2 hours while cars running...must have running car to make this. Skwerl drippins will fall onto ground...oil pan good fer this dirty just makes it sweeter. Once all cooked bring oil & skwerl drippins up on engine and boil till it makes a blister on yer big toe. Pour sweet skwerl oil drippins over tender skwerl. Perfect for any feastin' day!

Spicy Sqirrell Sausage Spagetti
Ingredients
1 gal. ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
5 lbs. sqirrell with most of the fur removed and intestines removed and reserved for stuffing sausages.
1/2 cup Morton's curing salt with salt peter added.
1 Tbls. cracked black pepper.
2 tbls. cayenne pepper.
20 beer nuts
2 deer nuts
1 lb. angel hair pasta cooked al dente
2 qts. Ragu squirel and pepperoni flavored pasta sauce.

Instructions
1. Take beer and pour into the cook.
2. Grind sqirell coarsly don't worry bout small bones and cartilage. Add salt and pepper.
3.Using your thumb and fore finger, extrude any remaining undigested food and fecal matter and put down the garbage disposal or feed it to a dog, if you have one.
4.Stuff the intestines carefully with sausage mixture, trying not to rupture.
5. Simmer sausage in pasta sauce
6. Serve over hot noodles.
7. Eat and take a nap.


Squirrel Taco surprise
Ingredients:
1.1 medium skinned squirrel
2.1 little dog like on TacoBell commercial

Bake in oven for 3 hours, basting squirrel only, (thats the one on the right hand side).
Serve with refried beans worstershire sauce.


Peanut Butter Skwerl Cookies
climb up a tree at night and grab the squirrel out of the nest,(don't disturb the squirrel eggs).

Put the live critter in your dryer and set on gentle cycle for 1 hour.

Now the skin and entrails should be in the lint filter. Scrap the remaining meat off the inside of the dryer and blend with one-half jar of peanut butter. Spread the mixture on a cookie sheet and cut into one inch squares, decorate with M&Ms and wait for the kids at halloween.

Skwerl Pot Pie
Ingredients:
1 skinned squirrel
1 store-bought pie crust
1 cup mixed vegtables
pinch nutmeg
pinch prapika
pinch salt
small pinch pepper
4 large potatoes
1/2 cup cheese
1/2 cup milk
1 stick butter

How to cook: Blind bake store-bought pie crust,dice squirrel into small pieces,and fry off until brown. boil vegtables until tender, add spices, squirrel, and vegtables to blind baked store bought pie crust, mash cooked potatoes with milk and butter, add to the top of the pie sprinkle cheese on top of the potato and bake in a moderate oven (200degrees) for 45mins,and enjoy!

Squirrel Oooo-la-la
first, you cut the skwerl open down its belly.take out its bladder. strech the bladder till you can fit the body inside. remove the nuts and put them where the brain goes. squeeze the juices over the body. put the rest of the brain in the mouth. slow roast over a fire until a light brown hue is accomplished.remove from the fire immediatly.let body cool.body should have a crunchy coating over the bladder. squeeze intestinal fluids over the squirrel.heat over fire.serve hot.makes 987,654,321,123,456,789 servings.i call it squirrel oooo-la-la!!!!

Squirrel Stew
first find a squirel, then kill it, (I know they looks cute, but trust me, they are even more delicious than cute). any good .177 air gun work just fine (velocity of about 190 MS) if you shoot it in the head, but if you miss, the squirrel will just run and die somewhere else and so you will loose your precious meat so aim carfully. You can alternatively choose to use a trap or a firearm. Then you have to skin it and guts it.I advise cutting the skin just above the inferior leg and then pull the skin while stepping on the squirrel tail with your foot, this will save you time, especially if it is your first time skinning a rodent. Once the skinning is done, chop the head off and take all the organs out, the same way you would do with a fish. You also need to chop of the tail and the end of the legs. If you do not plan to eat the squirrel right away, you should put it in the freezer until you are ready.

Now it is time to cook the squirrel, this is my favorite recipe.

SQUIREL STEW

This recipes is for only one person (one squirrel), mutiply the ingredient by the number of squirrel you cook.

1 squirel
2 medium potatoes diced
2 Carrots sliced
1 Large onion sliced
1 Celery sliced
Salt
Pepper
Garlic
Water


Put the unfrozen squirrel in a pan large enough, then pour water until the squirrel is half covered . Add the onion, cover and bring to boil, once the water is boiling, reduce heat and let the ingredients cook for about half an hour or until the meat falls from the bones. Then remove the squirrel from the stock and save it for later. Remove all the bones from the meat and put it back in the stock, add the carrot, the celery the garlic, the salt and the pepper. Put the pan back on the fire and let it cook for about 15 min. Add the potatoes and let it cook for another 20 min. You can also add corn starch near the end of the cooking to get a thicker sauce.

Hope you enjoy this receipt, squirrels are in fact delicious.


Southern Skwerlcicle
Ya need,

4-large skwerls
4-Large cans o' apple juice
1-bottle a J.D.
1-4 foot broom handle
1-skilsaw

Skin and gut yer Skwerls, chop the headz n tailz off, warsh em' and set aside.

Open the 4 cans of apple juice and empty each half way into a large pitcher.

Git yur skilsaw and cut the broom handle inta 4 eekwall parts.

Now shove them handles where the sun don't shine...not you stoopid the skwerlz!

Invert and stuff into halve filled juice cans place in freezer fur 4 hours.

When solid, serve to anyone that's whinning 'bout how hot the weather is.

While they're enjoyin' their treat, take the rest of the apple juice and add as much J.D. as you can stomach and git loaded watchin' NASCAR!

Skwerl Nuts
This way is for men only!

Ah hell, Y'all, the easiest way to cooks a squirrel is ta take some nuts, stick 'em in your underwear, waits for the skwerlz to come find 'em, and then gives them such a smack! They's deader than a doornail, they iz!

Course, you beter hope that they picks the right nuts to bite!!!

Then, you get some charcoal brikets and stick it in your underware and cooks them! The skwerlz I mean!


Flat Skwerl Surpise
Firstly find a road kill Skwerl make sure it aint to flat and maggoty.

Soak in salty water for 5 days to plump the critter back up.

Then slit the belly open and remove the entrails,pack the cavity with a mixture of crushed hazel nuts,parsley,butter and garlic. Sew the cavity back up and then stick a skewer up its a**.

Light a nice little fire outdoors and make a spit.lay the Skwerl over the spit and roast for approx 1 hour or until the fur has burnt off and the skin is peelable,

Serve with a mixed green salad and some garlic bread.

ENJOY.


Steve's South West Squirrel
A variation of Grandma's recipe which I posted as "Grandma's Squirrel Pot Pie"

After skinning and cleaning your catch place in salt water and bring to a boil. Should be at least two large gray squirrels, one large rabbit, or two large chicken breasts. (better if you can soak the meat a while first)

Debone meat after it is cooked well enough to come off the bone easy by hand, and making sure to remove all shot shell and bone fragments. Set ready to use meat aside to mix with the next batch of stuff below.

Ingredients needed:
2 cans cream of celery soup or you can mix and match cream of anything soups depending on personal tastes. ( If you prefer chicken as your meat, obviously the cream of chicken is the best choice) Doesn't matter which cream of soup you chose, just use two 10.75 oz cans of one or the other and you'll be fine. I've used Cr.of Chicken, Brocolli, Asparagus, Celery and Mushroom and they all work and mix well together just fine.
3 or 4 good size mild or even better medium to hot jalepenos, green chiles, banana, or pepperoncini peppers diced up small.
Dice up half an onion of choice. I like the Texas sweet onion but a yeller or white one will do too.
1/4 teaspoon of Emirils Essence (I use more cuz I like spicy more and more as I get older)
1/4 teaspoon of Cavenders (optional)
1/4 teaspoon of course ground black pepper (I use more of this too)
1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice (lime juice will also work)
Spray pam in the skillet or oil the skillet with olive oil or some other oil, about a spoon full of oil should do. Cook the onion in the skillet until it looks clear or toasty brown on the edges. Add the peppers of choice to the skillet and stir in with the onion. Add the meat and the soup and then mix it all up good.

Select a baking pan and pre-heat the oven to 300 degrees. Using Mission Yellow Corn Tortillas cover the bottom of the pan by overlapping the tortillas so the bottom isn't showing and pour the above ingredients in on top of the tortillas. (you can substitute taco shells or nachos if you like) Cover the top of the mix with grated pepper jack cheese or colby cheese and bake at 300 degrees uncovered for half and hour or until the cheese is startin' to get brown. You can eat this by itself and its great or you can pour it over rice or steamed vegetables. I've even filled soft tacos with it for a double decker type of meal and I've also used doritos instead of tacos or tortillas. It goes well with Taco Bells Mild and Fire sauces too. They are all great, as it is a very forgiving and flavorful recipe capable of fitting into any dining room. Congrats, you've just taken a basic Cream of something soup dish from way back when and then taken it up a couple notches. This is a delicious dish that won't leave leftovers. If you don't like spice, simply leave out the peppers and substitute with another green or red pepper. It is still delicious, and very quick and easy. You'll make it again and again.

SQUIRREL FRICASSEE
2 dressed young squirrels, 2 lbs
1? tsp salt
Pepper
? cup flour ? cup shortening
? to 3/4 cup water
1? cups milk
1 tsp grated onion, if desired
Wipe squirrel thoroughly with a damp cloth
pick off any hair
Remove scent glands
Examine carefully to locate imbedded shot and remove with a sharp pointed knife
Wash thoroughly inside and out in warm water.
Drain well and cut into serving pieces (Never wash after cutting up.)
Combine salt, pepper and flour and dredge squirrel in this mixture to coat well
Heat shortening in a heavy skillet and brown pieces slowly on all sides to a rich brown, about 1 minute
Add ? cup of the water, cover tightly, reduce the heat and simmer gently until tender (about 30 minutes)
Add remaining water as needed
Squirrel should be very tender when done
Remove squirrel to a hot platter, cover to keep hot
Blend any leftover seasoned flour into the fat remaining in the skillet
Add milk gradually and cook until gravy boils and thickens, stirring constantly
Serve at once with squirrel
Add the grated onion for additional flavor, if desired
makes 4 servings


Abert Squirrel with Southern Brown Gravy
I can't claim credit for this recipe but I got out of an Arizona Sportsman and thought you might use it.

3-4 Squirrel (1 per person)
4 -6 Tbls Lard or Bacon Grease
2 cup Flour
1 Tsp Garlic Salt
1 Tsp Garlic Powder
2 Beef Bouillon Cubes
2 Chicken Bouillon Cubes
1 Tsp Sage
1 Tsp Dried Mustard
1 Tsp Porterhouse or Roast Seasoning
1 cup Onion
1 cup Celery
2 cup Mushrooms, sliced
1pk Wild Rice or Mashed potatoes

SQUIRREL PREP
Using a sharp knife remove both front and hind legs at the joints. The cut the back section just below the rib cage and in front of the hips. Trim off any excess skin.

Season both sides of the squirrel sections with garlic salt, garlic powder, roast seasoning, salt and pepper. Then dredge in flour and set aside.

In a hot skillet using bacon drippings or lard brown both sides of the floured meat to brown. Remove from pan and set aside. Then drain off excess grease.

STOCK PREP
In a sauce pan dissolve 2 beef and 2 chick bouillon cubes in 1 cup of water. Then season with sage and dried mustard.

COOKING
Add stock to skillet and de-glaze pan. Return squirrel pieces to pan. Add water if necessary to cover meat. Add onions, mushrooms and celery. Cover and cook on medium to low for 2-3 hours or until tender.

GRAVY
After the squirrel is done cooking, remove the meat pieces and set on warming plate. To prepare the gravy, blend flour and some milk to the consistency of pancake batter in a separate mixing bowl. Slowly stir mixture into stock and vegetables to thicken.

SERVE
To serve, place a scoop of rice or mashed potatoes in the middle of the plate, add squirrel pieces all around and then cover liberally with gravy and vegetable mixture. Garnish with parsley and green onions. Serve with your favorite red wine with some hot fresh bread and enjoy.


Burgoo Medley
1 lb. squirrel, cut into 1" cubes
1/2 lb. pork butt, cut into 1" cubes
1 1/2 lbs. chicken leg/thigh quarters
1 quart beef stock
1 quart chicken stock, plus 2-4 quarts more
1 C unpeeled red potatoes, medium diced
1 cup red onion, medium diced
1 C lima or fava beans
1 C diced green peppers
1 C diced, peeled carrots
1 C corn kernels
1 oz. Ancho chilies, toasted, seeded,
stemmed and cut into small pieces
1/2 tsp. cayenne
1 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
3/4 tsp. pepper
1 C sliced okra
4 large garlic cloves , minced
2 C canned chopped tomatoes
2 T cider vinegar
2 T lemon juice
3 T Kentucky Bourbon, more to taste
12 T Worcestershire Sauce
1 T hot sauce
1/2 C parsley, chopped

Cut excess fat from chicken legs, leaving skin intact. Combine squirrel, pork and chicken in large stockpot with beef and chicken stock. Bring to a full boil and skim any froth or gray foam from the top. Reduce the heat and simmer for 2 hours. Remove the chicken legs and let cool. Remove skin and bones, shred chicken meat and return to pot. Add potatoes, onions, beans, green pepper, carrots, corn chiles, cayenne, salt and pepper. Simmer another 3 hours, adding 2-4 quarts of chicken stock, as needed, to keep stew from getting too thick.

After 3 hours add okra, garlic, tomatoes, vinegar, lemon juice, bourbon, Worcestershire sauce, and hot sauce. Simmer another 6 hours, adding chicken stock if necessary. Add parsley after burgoo is cool.

Finished burgoo should have a soup, not stew consistency and must cook 12 hours. Can be started one day, cooled quickly and finished the next day. Refrigerate overnight to mellow the flavors and make the removing of fat easier.


MORE DELICIOUS SQUIRREL RECIPES COMING SOON!
THANK YOU TO THE K.A.S.A.E.T CLAN! (Kill all squirrels and eat them) FOR THE AWESOME RECIPES STRAIGHT FROM THEIR HOME KITCHENS AND CENTURY OLD COOKBOOKS! SURELY ORIGINALS! HAVE FUN, AND DON'T BURN YOURSELVES! wink