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Orestae

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Post: 9133742_1 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:09:16 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:09:16 +0000

In every Age... there is a hero...

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.

The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.

"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed his comrade in death.

A gleaming scimitar smote a heavy blow against the renegade's spiked helmet, bringing a heavy cloud over the Ecordian's misting brain. Shaking off the effects of the pounding blow to his head, Grignr brought down his scarlet streaked edge against the soldier's crudely forged hauberk, clanging harmlessly to the left side of his opponent. The soldier's stead whinnied as he directed the horse back from the driving blade of the barbarian. Grignr leashed his mount forward as the hoarsely piercing battle cry of his wilderness bred race resounded from his grinding lungs. A twirling blade bounced harmlessly from the mighty thief's buckler as his rolling right arm cleft upward, sending a foot of blinding steel ripping through the Simarian's exposed gullet. A gasping gurgle from the soldier's writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed.

Grignr's emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount. His scowling voice reverberated over the dying form in a tone of mocking mirth. "You city bred dogs should learn not to antagonize your better."

(Disclaimer: Yes.. this whole thing is a joke. WTF. XD)

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Post: 9133742_2 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:11:26 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:11:26 +0000

1. Intro - Thread Overview
2. Table of Contents - Navigation
3. The Legend - Gringr!
4. The Return - Return.. of Gringr!
5. Appearance - The Handsome Slut
6. Personality - That Charming Beast
7. Orestae - The Wench
8. Images - Ahwink!
9. Friends - Sluts
10. Other s**t- Conquests

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Post: 9133742_3 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:12:29 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:12:29 +0000

"Take hold of this rope and climb out from your pit, slut."

Gringr - The Hero, the Barbarian. He who kicks Conans a** to the curb. Even Leif Ericson pales in comparison.

If not for his keen auditory organs and lighting steeled reflexes, Grignr would have been groping through the shadowed hell-pits of the Grim Reaper. Death promised an infinity of peace, not the finite misery of an inactive life of confined torture, forever concealed from the life bearing shafts of the beloved rising sun. The orb that had been before taken for granted, yet now cherished above all else. To be forever refused further glimpses of the snow capped summits of the land of his birth, never again to witness the thrill of plundering unexplored lands beyond the crest of a bleeding horizon, and perhaps worst of all the denial to ever again encompass the lustful excitement of caressing the naked curves of the body of a trim yound wench.

Gringr is the lion in the grass, the cobra on the rock, the owl in the skies.

Hoot, hoothoot.

He is fast as the wind and strong as the earth, his temper hot as fire and his mind steady as the strongest ocean currents.

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Post: 9133742_4 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:13:33 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:13:33 +0000

Before the sentry could wrench his axe free from his comrade's carcass, he found Grignr's massive hands clasped about his throat, choking the life from his clamped lungs. With a zealous grunt, the Ecordian flexed his tightly corded biceps, forcing the grim faced soldier to one knee. The sentry plunged his right fist into Grignr's face, digging his grimy nails into the barbarians flesh. Ejaculating a curse through rasping teeth, grignr surged the bulk of his weight foreard, bowling the beseiged soldier over upon his back. The sentry's arms collapsed to his thigh, shuddering convulsively; his bulging eyes staring blindly from a bloated ,cherry red face.

He was born in the wildlands, as a Barbarian prince. Child molestation and questions of his own sexuality led him to Gorzom, where steroids and surgery made him into the sexual predator he is today.

Mrowl, baby. Mrowl.

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Post: 9133742_5 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:15:45 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:15:45 +0000

Grignr has a surly red mane, as a brush fire swaying to the nightime breeze. The wild blood coarsing through his veins yearned for the undefiled freedom of the livid wilderness lands, and he is as a stalking panther creeping warily along on padded feet.

The speed of a striking cobra with a hairy chest that attracts homicidal rats, corded muscles that gleam in the scarlet emeraldine scintillation of the dungeons. He is a giant amongst men, clad only in his conceal-all G-string and loin cloth. Handsom, with visual organs of brilliant emerald.

His temper is like a boiling pot of tar which is like a boiling pot of tar.

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Post: 9133742_6 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:17:34 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:17:34 +0000

Gringr is soft and caring when it comes to the ladies. He will smother their lips with the warm caress of his rank mouth, caress their cheeks with the sandpapery texture of his barbarian tongue.

His hands, though calloused, are always available to offer a soothing grope to a ladies bosom.

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Post: 9133742_7 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:20:05 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:20:05 +0000

The busty serving wench who shall cater to mighty Grignr's every need

Name - Carthena

Age - 22

Race - Caucasian

Occupation - Serving Wench and Part time prostitute.

Height - 5'6"

Weight - 117

Eye Color - Blue

Hair Color - Blonde

Family - All Deceased, formerly sold her to be a sex slave to a fat old prince with jelly bulge.

Likes - Music, black olives, sleep, the beach, sleep, teddy grahams, sugar, sleep, big manly barbarians

Dislikes - Fat princes, decaying molars, being referred to as 'wench' (she prefers 'wynch'), Argon, being molested by more than one priest at a time, and a lack of big manly barbarians.

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Post: 9133742_8 created on Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:26:45 +0000
Posted: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:26:45 +0000

This is Grignr's G-string. Within it Grignr can conceal many various weapons, including Rifkltrnegmkron, his rat-pelvis broadsword.

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This is Skuzzles. The rat who so bravely donated his pelvis to Riftkltrnegmkron's creation. Rest in peace, brave Skuzzles. Your pelvic bone will not have been unceremonially ripped from your decapitated body in vain.

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And now, a fanfic written just for the mighty Grignr by his favorite slut, Sosi:

"To Morbidly Strike"

Grignr and Carthena were celebrating a pulsating Valentine's Day together. Grignr had cooked a stygmatic dinner and they ate under the rock by candlelight.

"My darling," Carthena said, stroking Grignr's orb, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Grignr. "It is but a scarlet token of my scintillating love."

Grignr opened the box. Inside was a fetid slut! He gazed at it exorbitantly. Then he gazed at Carthena exorbitantly. "It's bloated," Grignr said. "Come here and let me strike you."

Just then, a cycloptic crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a vat of boiling tar that boils like a vat of boiling tar. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a sanguine voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Carthena read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other huskily as the crone cackled some more. Grignr's organ of sight began to tremble. Then Carthena shrugged, pulled out a wine, and hit the crone on her ocular. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Grignr said and kissed Carthena gleefully. "This is a chartreuse Valentine's Day!"

They flatulently burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they struck each other all night long.