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Dear Diary,

I don't know how to explain it. But wandering across the country somehow landed me with... an egg.

Granted, it's a pretty egg. A very pretty egg, actually. But an egg? With an eyepatch too...

It was a dark night though, filled with rain and clouds--a storm brewing across the world. Some people say God is crying on these nights... anyway, since I normally detest the rain, it was indeed a rare occurance to find me outside, wandering through some ruins. But something called me out there.

Something... or someone... led me to this egg. I followed the path I felt inclined to, and I ended up in front of this beautiful object. And now I'm holding onto it, keeping it close to me...

But, Diary, it's strange. The more I'm around this egg, the more I think I can hear it.

It's warm. Why is it warm? Only God's beloved are warm. God abandoned me. I hate God. Why am I warm here?

This little egg, born out of the tears of Heaven... why does it speak to me?

Tears of Heaven? God's tears. I am born from God's tears...

Dear Diary,

His name is Jei. I don't know... how I know it, but I do. I feel it.

No. Not Jei. Jei is dead...

But he denies that he's Jei. I don't know though... Jei seems to be the right name for him. Perhaps... that's his soul's name. But it may not be the name he possesses when he hatches. I still don't know what that will be...

Farfarello is the one who lives now...

I want to see this baby whose egg I'm holding so tightly, the egg which has been consuming my life. I want to understand him... I want to hold him in my arms and kiss away the pain I can feel in him. My little darling baby Jei...

Why... kindness? What is this...? God's tears are warm...

My Jei...

~raven

Diary,

It's tiring carrying this egg around all the time. Not that I'm going anywhere, just sitting in this room, with my darling little Jei... My baby Jei... my darling Jei...

Why?!?! Why kindness?!?!

He's mad at me again, diary. I seem to be making him mad often. Because I care. Because I love him so very much...

Don't... don't.... why?!

Because you're my darling, Jei. Because I can feel you within me. Because more than anything else, I want you to understand that you're not to blame for whatever's happened in your mind, my darling. My Jei...

Diary,

I'm tired. Tired of holding onto the hope that my darling egg will hatch. I'm tired of holding on...

Everyone gives up eventually.

No, Jei... that's not it...

((NOTE: Farfarello has hatched, even though the picture has not been udated. (The colorist has a problem with her computer, but Autumn gave me permission to do this. "He has blades for wings, they look like they were stabed into his arms, and he is a human color, with white fur..." wink )

He hatched today, slowly creeping forth from the cracking shell, eyes fixed on me.

"God's beloved has been calling me," he murmured, those piercing eyes never leaving mine, holding me captive in place. Something about those eyes, the way they seemed haunted by soul-agony even though he'd just hatched... something about those wings, those sharp wings piercing into his flesh... he captured me, heart and soul in that moment.

"No, Jei," I corrected him, my voice tremulous as I watched him. "I have been calling you."

Jei sulked for days after that first conversation between raven and himself. She kept him from hurting himself through cajoling and always being there, which didn't help his mood any.

Perhaps this strange girl had a purpose though. Jei still tried to figure that out-- what could she possibly hope to gain from dealing with him? God would turn His face from her if she--

God would abandon this girl if He already had not. She claimed that He had long ago done so... but...

Jei couldn't let that happen...

raven snarled at Jei. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as his teeth tore into his own wings.

"Making God cry," he answered calmly-- too calmly for raven to handle.

"Making God... why are you so obsessed with that?!" raven felt the anger and despair rising up inside of her. "Don't you realize that's not the way to do things, Jei?"

"Farfarello," he corrected her.

"Farfarello then!" raven conceded before stalking off. She had to think about this, she had to think him down. That was the only-- ah hah.

Making her way back to the dragon, raven smiled softly at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you J-- Farfarello," she murmured, sitting next to him where he still tore at himself. "But... I don't know if you're making God cry," she admitted.

"Why?"

"You say God has abandoned you. Would that make him cry then? To see you in pain...? If he's abandoned you, why would he cry over your pain?"

"No pain."

Oh. Right. "Then why would he cry if you're not in pain? Because your blood is being spilt?" raven asked.

"..."

"Wouldn't he cry more to see a perfect body he has abandoned?"

"..."

"Well, Farfarello?"

"..."