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Strength

*** This is the journal of strength. Please do not post, unless you have been given permission. Thank you. Tarot Story ***

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Trump #: 8
Power: Harmony
Name: Iris
Height: 5'8

Skills:
Animal Communication
Ingenuity
Charisma

Animals:
Horse- Symbol of freedom and pride.
Bear- Very connected to the earth, protective nature.
Stork- Motherly, compassionate, and giving (based on an old fable)

Card meaning:
Leaning to live as one with nature...getting in touch with instincts. Having faith in oneself, and being very intuitive. Situations can be conquered by gentleness instead of force.


History:
Strength could often be found at the stables...or in the birdcages, or the garden, or...anywhere but inside. And always rarely in shoes.
The animals and even the plants seemed to be able to understand everything she said...and she talked to them often.

She was wise in her innocence, however. Sometimes the simplest thing said could be the most profound. Though she was loved by many in the court, she would nearly always slip through their fingers...remaining wild, untamed, and strong as the horses she ran with.

In the end, she was saddened by the turn of events...saddened by the loss of those that she had come to love. She only hoped that one day they could meet again...

It became apparent, with how the servants reacted to her, that in the old days she was in charge of the grounds. A gardener and a vetrinarian, she knew of the uses of all the herbs there grown, and much old herblore. She could tend to almost any hurt the animals had, and to a small extent apply that to humans, but she wasn't really a people doctor.

Many were disturbed by her philosophies, as she had been raised very different from them. A girl of the wild, she had lived as such in her past life, free from society. Her sister, as well, had not been much different, but their personalities were muchly so, although they shared the same unusual trait of shapeshifting from their family.
Others who felt greatest a connection with the earth could well understand her, as well, and those would be her closest friends. She was strong in body, and in mind...and though her jobs were many she would rarely feel she had "worked" a day in her life.

Strength's generally sunny outlook might be surprising, if one knew of her early misfortunes where family was concerned. While she was indeed sister to the High Priestess..they had not been raised together...as a matter of fact, they had not known each other prior to coming to the castle.

As a child, she had been adopted in an..unconventional way, into a rather unconventional family. One might even say it had not been so much adoption, as more of a..theft of sorts. Nonetheless, it was a happy existence...

Until she was taken from that family, from her father and brother, and placed in a children's home...and it was there that she discovered her passion for caring for others..be they people, animals, or plants...anything, anyone who needed her.

(Pwr desc: Others feel very relaxed around her...its almost impossible for confrontation when she is anywhere nearby. She can intensify that feeling, as well. *To be expanded upon*)

Pictures
Silly Strength and Tower picture
Lounging lion
Sisters photo
Strength and Death Valentine snuggle
Songbird
Holding the hawk
Bursting with life
Death and Strength
Sing to me
Chibbbi
Precious little foal
Sketchies
Taming the beast
Little bird
Beautiful flower
Strike a chibi pose
Nurturing nature
Gift from Meep
Happy day
Animation by Syr
Spear

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The Other Cards

~ The Fool - She scares me a little.. more that she'll hurt herself. She's afraid of so much, and seemingly confused, but she IS my friend and I am hers.

~ The Magician - I feel for RT slightly.. He's been given a mystery to solve.. as so why another person was the Magician before him.. and who the true Magician is. However.. he has also stolen my sister... and despite how I try I can't help but feel something.. something not good against that thought.

~ The High Priestess - My dear sister. I'm afraid I haven't had much time with her... She says she's busy though.. so I'll believe.

~ The Empress - Seemingly a mother hen, she even made food for Go and I. She has a regalness to her as well though.. Hmm.. I suppose she probably has alot on her mind all the time.

~ The Emperor - N/A

~ The Hierophant - He.. shot at me? All a misunderstanding I think.. but still.. he hasn't been around the castle lately.

~ The Lovers - Dee is... Very sweet... But perhaps she should learn to keep her mouth and gossip shut on occassion. ((OOC- ahemm.. this may change but I've still yet to finish my Priestess rp.))

~ The Chariot - My stallion and companion... he's called a monster by others. But, is he really? My mind and my heart seem to be conflicting...

~ The Hermit - Poor dear.. I accidentally gave him a little scare. He seems nice enough from our short meeting, I should like to meet him again sometime.

~ Wheel of Fortune - Such a sad individual from what I can tell... Perhaps it's his different apperance... or maybe it's all the thinking and worrying he seems to burden himself with. I think he is a beautiful butterfly.. that just hasn't realized yet that he only needs to make his way out of the caccoon.

~ Justice - Blindfolded woman... I meet her only when she wants to draw misery upon me... but Ammi and the others certainly thinks well of her, so I'm sure she's nice and that we just haven't had the best meetings.

~ The Hanged Man - Kind, exciting, giving, and full of adventure. For some reason I get the impression he doesn't 'like' me despite the fact that he continual showers me in lovely gifts. How strange is that?

~ Death - Possibly my best friend in the entire castle. An enchanting and intoxicating creature.. Elegant in her speech, regally proud, and something else... Maybe it's vunerability? Hidden under everything? Either way.. I enjoy my time greatly with the bat winged beauty and I miss her even more.

~ Temperance - N/A

~ The Devil - N/A

~ The Tower - Spending time with Naraka is a strange onslaught on the senses. Unfortunately no senses have been had as of late.. as he appears to be avoiding me ever since I offered my friendship towards him.

~ The Star - Sweet and lovely, though a creature of the night, she's very much happy company. I hope to see her again soon.

~ The Moon - N/A

~ The Sun - Bob's friend the pirate! Sly is so very amusing and interesting, not to mention willing to play back with me. We even have a silly pact where I owe him a kiss for asking questions. I showed him my power the other day and he's promised to show me his sometime.

~ Judgement - A sweet dove. Kind, helpful, even apparently shy. We think very differently in some ways.. and quite the same in others. I have to watch myself around him.. but I don't mind as much as I thought I would.

~ The World - My plant-like woman... Broken by Saeru.. and perhaps more by me.. I wonder if there will ever be a time in which she forgives me..?

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6/9- Arrival
--------------------
I've always loved nature.

No... That's not right. It's something stronger then love, a connection perhaps.
As far back as I can remember I've always carried a soft desire to be outside. Free. At one with the everything and the nothing of the world.

Don't get me wrong. Life is very good to me, and I enjoy some indoor things and the company of others... But there is just something special about the time I spend alone outside. It is times like that when my mind is free to wander away. And the place that my mind enjoy most is a magnificent place.

In my daydreams I see things I've never before witnessed. I see gardens full of the most gourgeous lively plants. I see fields that reach as far as the horizon and beyond. And of course, there are the animals. Beautiful beasts of all sorts, never timid and yet at the same time.. never really tame. They seem to always be there with me, from the most fragile little hummingbird to the large powerful bear. We are together really, rather like one. I understand how they feel.. and they seem to feel the same about myself. Sometimes even.. in my daydreams I have met people. And though I've never met them before, it almost feels as is if I've known them forever. Like they belong to something I once lost.

But I can't remember, and the daydreams never last for long, pulled along by the gentle breeze as quickly as it'd touched me. I often wished it were true and real... but alas, it seemed it was quite impossible.

Until that day.

I'd been out by myself again... having cast aside my other responsibilties for a bit, to wander about. My wandering didn't go far however. Not far within the woods my eyes had settled upon a small sapling. It lay amidst the other large trees struggling for life, where it's brothers had already given up. Not even 3 feet tall, but it streched outward trying to catch each stray bit of sunlight or rain that it could get before the large trees took their shares. I couldn't just leave it... Such a strong defient thing deserved to strive and grow.. so back to the house I went to get a shovel.

Despite the delicate process I had to go through to dig up the sapling without hurting it's still young and soft roots, it wasn't long before I nearly had it out. Using my fingers to carefully release roots from the ground as I pulled, I raised it up and looked lightly down the hole. Something dark and obviously hand-crafted lay near the bottom of the hole. Retrieving the small wooden box, I filled the hole and then carried the tree and box back home.

The small box was intrugingly beautiful.. crafted of a dark cherry wood and detailed with the most intricately designed leaves and vines carvings. Placing it softly aside I set to work making a new place for the young sapling to remain, near my grape vines.. but with plenty of space of it's own.

Having finished my task of planting, watering, and securing the sapling to it's new resting ground, I turned my attention back to the box, fingering the old latch on the edge. With a soft creak I opened the small box to discover a soft bed of wool bits, and underneath, something wrapped tightly in deer hide and leather. As old as the box seemed, I was amazed that it had all survived so long, and carefully began to undo the leather strip. What was hidden beneath the hide however was the real surprise.

One single tarot card. Ancient in apperance and yet... somehow it shone with a prestine quality. Strength. I admired the fine work of art, before something suddenly hit me. The girl on the card, so affectionately placed beside the lion looked so familar... So much like myself.. Or perhaps... So similar to who I was in my day dreams. It startled and yet also soothed me for some reason... Maybe I was just used to it.. because my night time dreams had always been the sort that came true..

Puzzling lightly I checked the rest of the box, finding the only remaining item within. A small note. The paper it was written on seemed old... and faded.. almost as if the paper had been made by hand. Curiously I took it back over to the new sapling, sitting beneath the little bit of shade it gave as I read the short somber note.

I cannot wait any longer I'm afraid... They've all gone away and I don't know where.. or why. A sorrow builds in me that I cannot continue to face on my own. I hope the animals will forgive me. I hope the trees.. and the animals.. and all else will continue to rely on each other and keep each other safe.. I'm just not strong enough anymore.. It hurts me, and I feel I need to sleep... Perhaps one day everyone will come back. I do hope so. I long for it really... But my sorrow tells me to sleep... and I think I shall, until the day I have enough strength to reawaken.

Leaning lightly back against the small tree, I picked up the card again, running my fingers delicately over the picture of the girl and lion. So engrossed was I in the card and the sadness it gave off that I didn't even notice the sparkle.. or the soft change. Only when I heard the loud hawks cry did I look up again at the now alien surroundings.

A garden? Something of the sort had somehow appeared.. Full of life and bustle even though I couldn't see another person anywhere. Standing lightly, I went to dust myself off, before realizing the change. My clothing. It was the same. Inspecting the card lightly I tried to think of an explanation... but I quickly realized that I didn't care.. Here I was, in my daydream... and from the feel of the breeze and the ground below me.. the soft sweet scent in the air, I knew that it was real. I knew I was home.

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My Own Room

I'm often alone, at least from people. In the real world the people I live with are gone most the day, and I'm left with just me and the animals. I've never really minded greatly, but it turns out to be very helpful for allowing me to explore this place.. as I can leave for hours without ever being missed.. Well except perhaps by my dog. So I've taken the opportunity to explore. Though... since this place so greatly matches my daydreams, it almost seems familiar, like I've been here before. Perhaps it's just a trick of the imagination though.

The beauty of the garden never ceases to amaze me. And while most of the garden seems exuberant and full of life, there are bits and pieces that seem to hold a soft sorrow in them. And others that seem almost in a coma... never really changing.. with a life force that is as faint as the soft beats of a butterflies wings. I worry about these plants, and as soon as I can find some information on them.. and perhaps what has happened to them, I'd like to try to help them. Yet, I'm afraid I cannot help much right now.. besides the normal care and a bit of talking and attention. Speaking of which.. I don't know if I will ever be able to see the entirety of the garden. It's vast nature is almost intimidating and unending, and the many paths and secretive nooks wind throughout the entirety. I should hope to see all of it, but that may be an unrealistic hope. Of course... so was 'becoming' part of my daydream.

The animal life that resides and migrates through the gardens are quite surprising as well. I've had timid deer approach me, and large fierce beasts calm around me. They've come to be good traveling companions through my exploring. Though they cannot quite talk, they certainly seem to understand... and somehow, I rather understand too. Perhaps it is part of the magic of this place.

But this is all just hindsight.. I found something very interesting today.

From the garden you can always see the castle... and yet, it had always seemed pretty intimidating to me. Truly it was lovely, having many towers that rose out of the foggy morning, and sparkled in the morning sun, but I prefer the garden. Full of such a variety of trees and plants that one would almost swear they were in a controlled greenhouse... Especially because of the plants that "shouldn't" belong there. For example.. I think I spied an orange tree the other day, despite the cool climate.

In anycase, I'd been joined early on that morning by a hawk. A regal and yet very loud beast, who tried to draw my attention towards the castle. Curious, I followed the large raptor as quickly as I could, though often times he'd still have to circle around once to allow me to catch up. As we drew nearer and nearer to the towering structure the hawk grew ever more excited finally stopping. Flying deftly over, he landed with the utmost care on my shoulder, cooing softly for me to go on.

Following the path around the last turn of tall bushes my eyes fell upon quite the sight. A large 'room' made of sturdy granite lay before me. Two long walls faced the castle.. while the other two sides of the rather square room were held by nothing but large pillars. Intricate details of wildlife and vegetation were carved into the pillars and roof, but they weren't nearly as beautiful as the actual plants that decorated them. Ivies crept up some of the walls and pillars, decorating them in a lushes green that framed the large brilliant blooms of all colors. The room and plant life around it worked in a way that almost looked like they'd merged.. or perhaps just been together as one for hundreds of years. Within the room wasn't much different however. The two walls were littered with large gaping windows, that appeared to have no pane, and yet.. seemed decorated with a marvelous hanging moss.

Within the room lay simple furniture made of granite and wood. Tables.. chairs, and most strangely, a bed in the far corner of the two walls. While the bottom seemed made of granite like most of the rest of the room.. the mattress was clearly a sewn together hide. Upon touch it was soft.. so it makes me believe it was stuffed with perhaps plumes of some sort? As I began to search the room with interest, the hawk left my arm, with a bit of an unintentional pinch, and made his way over to the fountain, setting about at preening himself.

The soft breeze and sunlight filtered into a lot of the room. Every noise, scent, and beautiful aspect of the garden crept in the large room, rolling of the soft granite. And it became apparent after not long of resting that the animals around had taken it as their own home as well. An absolute paradise if I do say so. And it was there that I slipped into an afternoon nap.

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Silent meeting

I cannot believe what happened yesterday! After days and days of seeing noone at all, I finally stumbled upon others.. and then.. ran off.

I'd been off on another small walk that day.. In the early morning I'd visited the bird cages and spent time with them. Such gourgeous little creatures.. and suprisingly, they didn't really seem that upset about being cooped up. Though they did take to a playful flight upon release, only to return to the cage as their wings grew weary from the play. It almost reminded me of my going home... Though I don't do it very often, as I don't seem to have reason to, on occassion I find sanctuary in my small home.

Returning to my walk I'd spied a small rose bush with uncovered roots. Perhaps it was from too much rain? Or maybe just an animal. Settling down beside it, carefully working the dirt back up onto the bushes small roots, my attention was taken by a strange change in sounds.. The birds were louder then I'd ever heard them, cawing and crowing and throwing such an emense fit that I left to go see what it was. And what I found?

People.. and many of them. From behind the bush I think I saw 5 or 6 of them... Male and female, all very different standing about the courtyard speaking to each other. I ended up following at one point, as they entered the castle to explore... However when I heard that female's voice I had such an odd feeling..

It was almost as if my stomach clasped up.. I don't think it was fear... And yet it was such a strong emotion... Something like longing.. and yet a bit like worry.. and also just the most odd sense of deja vu I've felt in ages.. I regret it now... but the emotion was just too much for me and I bolted and returned home.

I do hope the three of them will forgive me.. The plant-like woman, decked out in green and twisting browns) and two white dove-like males. Somehow I feel inside like I found something I'd lost at their sight... and as heavy as my feeling was last night... I almost fear this worry of losing them again would be even more unbearable.

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Exploring

After my silly actions the night before, I'm happy to say that I made up with atleast one person. This morning I happened to hear a soft melody playing over the trees, and to my pleasure it was the plant-like woman from before. She seemed to be enjoying herself and playing soft music from the courtyard when I happened upon her. Something stringed, very windy and light, rather like the way the wind whispers and whistles through tall reeds. It was really quite beautiful. I found out her name was Syr... her card, The World.. which made perfect sense to me... as her green and brown accented clothing reminded my lightly of the land.. and her brillantly soft blue hair, of the gentlest of oceans. I'm sure there is something inside her too that matches her card better as well though... as I don't think I'm the strongest creature in the world physically.. despite my depiction on the ancient card of Strength. Perhaps it's a different sort of strength? But that will probably become more apparent in the future.

In anycase, she seemed very very nice, and wasn't upset at my depature the night before. Which makes me glad. Best of all, I learned that she lives here as well. Somewhere in the massive stone towers. She had to run off, but I do hope we can meet again someday. I'll admit it can get a little lonely out in the garden sometimes.
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My encounter has sparked my interest in the castle greatly. I'm not really concerned as to WHY the others are here... but more that they are here.. Much like one doesn't concern themselves from where a small seed has came.. only to it's nuturing and care so it can blossom and grow in it's new surroundings.

So today I decided to search the castle in the daylight as I've always been more fond of daylight.. or natural candlelight then the mechanical/chemical lightings. Thankfully I recieved company in my trip.. which just made it that much better. A small snake I happened upon on the way joined me, coiled around my arm for warmth in the rather cool castle. The castle wasn't nearly as intimidating in the daylight.. and the way the sunlight spilled into through the large windows gave the somber castle a feeling of life. The sheer coldness of the floor at first was a little unpleasant to my feet.. but I've walked on worse things before, so it didn't take long at all to get used to it. The thick walls also cut out the outdoor noise as I moved inward, which made me very fortunate to have a companion, otherwise I think I would have turned back far before I did.

I began in the large ballroom, that I'd been in the night before, travelling through it at a soft pace as I searched for other signs of life. The room however gave very little.. being rather cold, abandoned, and almost dreary... Something inside told me that wasn't always the case.. but alas, I could just be assuming things. As I pushed on through the room, chattering softly to the snake coiled comfortable about my arm, I took in each detail I could. Staircases lead me in different directions, giving forth large blaconies... towers and the such. The tower I stepped into seemed to have a flair of life to it, but by then I was beginning to feel as if I were intruding. The trip outside wasn't nearly as long as the trip within, and upon letting my little friend go, to bask in the warmth of the sun, I set out to complete a task I'd assigned myself the day before. Gloves... I need to get.. or make.. gloves.

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Creating 6/16
After Syr's kind offering of help on my chimes, I decided that it might be necessasary to gain a few supplies from back home. Traveling back home I picked up some of the more important things that I could think of, hoping it would be enough. I stopped by the store of course, picking up a few sorts of food that I felt would last AND had a tight lid. Of course I don't mind sharing food with the animals... I'd just prefer they not overeat things they shouldn't be and get sick... Besides... it's not like there isn't plenty of food about. Fruits of all sorts... huge vegtables.. roots and the such. All very lovely and very filling.

I also stopped by the hardware store.. one of my favorite places.. You wouldn't believe all the wonderful things you can find in a place like that.. Versatile things that with the right amount of skill and creativity can become just about anything in your hands. I picked up a few things for the chimes.. glass pieces, beads, rounded pieces of metal, heavy duty string.. and also a few things for later.. sewing equipment like tanned hide, heavy duty thread, needles, and just other random things. I still believe I shall make myself a glove.. it'll just have to wait until I'm doing nothing but lounging.

That evening when I returned I ran into Syr at the lake. She came back and went to making chimes! ***Ummm... I'll wait to see if Syr wants to rp this out before I write more here.***

~ 6/17
Nothing exciting really happened today... It was rainy out.. so I decided that it would be a very nice change to just play in the rain. Apparently I wasn't the only one though, as I ran into the dove in the courtyard. He said his name is Judgement and he was out enjoying the rain silently when I found him. He was very kind.. though not entirely talkative.. And he let me touch his wings. They are very much like any other bird's wings.... same joints.. same stiff feathers met with soft plumage near the top... and he believes that he should be able to fly with them. But he hasn't yet... I do hope he learns.. and I told him about he waterfalls, should he want to practice in a safe place.. though I do realize that if he isn't careful enough when/if he falls, he may very well end up wetting his wings too much to try for a bit. But I'm sure he knows better then that... Maybe he will have practiced some by the next time we meet and be able to show me. I'd love to see if the flight patterns are the same.. or if the different weight does something to that.

~ 6/18
The heavy off chiming of the loud bells had been my first clue of trouble yesterday evening... Upon following the sound, very far at that, I found the culprit.. It seems a man, Go, had been exploring the bell tower when he got stuck up in the rope! How silly is that? In anycase.. the poor dear had been there for half a day.. ringing the bell for help... I don't know how he could stand it.. it was so loud that it made my ears pound being near it.. but I suppose that was the lesser of two evils.

He's an amazing creature really... I know I haven't know him long.. but I had as much fun in my short encounter with him, as I did with Syr during our chime making. So I hope we can play again. I know he hasn't seen the gardens yet.. so maybe I will run into him when he does some exploring. But I'm getting ahead of myself..

I found out there is a kitchen in the castle.. and ran into a very sweet lady in there.. Very much like a mother she was waiting there with food. The warm food was a nice change from the relitively cold meals I've been having out in the garden.. maybe I'll have to travel into the castle more often? I don't remember much after that I'm afriad.. I believe I may have fallen asleep.. I hope that I DO see Go again soon, as I'd like to make sure he's alright.. and doesn't have any injuries from his fall.

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Musings ~6/19
It is still strange to me how much people seem to care about where people have come from.. or how they got here. Nearly everytime I meet someone that is one of the questions... Or "How long have you been here?" I always answer appropriately.. though the longer I stay.. the more I feel that the correct answer may be.. that I never really left. I've always felt like I'd been waiting for something.. and that seems to go away when I'm here.

Syr mentioned something, that I think people worry about as well.. I've heard or seen a few people mention "trying to find what they are supposed to be doing"... or "getting back to how they were". Which confuses me... Despite the soft change in clothing and surrounding.. I haven't changed.. nor do I feel I need to! And what I'm supposed to do? From the day I got here I've simply made it my task to have fun.. I've explored.. and looked after the gardens.. and animals.. I've simply lived my life... I don't quite understand what I should be changing.. or why there should be something I have to do... It almost makes me sad. As of yet I've not met a person I didn't like... but if they are all preoccupied into 'changing' into something they should be... I fear that the strange feeling of loss that had once been in me will return again...

I'm not sure if people understand that they aren't two different people... Only one.. one that's been missing half it's soul for awhile now. One that, now whole again, can grow to a beautiful thing.. like a tree.. with branches that strech far in every direction, and gorgeous blooms that decorate the outside and reflect their inner beauty outward. I hope they realize it before long... Unless I'm being too naive about it to realize..

6/20
This evening I ran into another person, one that was very different then everyone else I've met so far. While most that I have met are very happy.. or atleast give off a feeling of such, the Wheel, or Saeru, didn't seem so. At first I wondered if it was indifference.. but now.. I think it reminds me more of sadness. We had a bit of a talk about a few different things.. and deep down, I think he'll be alright. I think there is somethign around this castle to make all of us happy.. even if it takes some of us longer then others to find. Maybe I can aid him in finding it? Though, like Judgement.. he might be the sort that'd prefer to go it alone.. heart

6/21
Today I have made it my task to travel about the castle and do a write up of some of the places. Perhaps I'll place them in here when I'm done. Or simply give it to someone who resides inside.. to give a sort of 'map' to those inside that have yet to see the beauty of what resides outside the castle.

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Sleepover
On most occassions I cherish the daytime hours far more so then those of the night. However an exception came just the other night that make me rethink my preferences.

The day has started as usual. I spent a few early mornings hours attending to the birds at the cages.. They are always uch wonderful souls, seeming to care nothing about their entrapment, while at the same time enjoying and making the best of the time I let them out to play. Amazingly, the song birds, the water fowl, the raptor, and even the more extoic avians all seem to get along nicely during their play outside... it's a sight that is wonderful for the beginning of my days.

My next trip had been to the stables, to give the horses a little attention and exercise. Right now there are not THAT many horses within the old stables, yet I'm sure before long our stables will fill to the brim. I took them out like usual to play around in the training area out back, bringing in a nice mix of games of chase and cooling down in the hose. With only a few exceptions they really are wonderfully cooperative creatures.. ever talkative and always curious. And all of the horses are sweet, though one creme stallion in particular seems to have taken an affinity to me.

I spent a little time doing a bit of garden related care, but really, nothing I did the morning could compare to the evening.

I've said before that Death was a lovely creature... but something about the regal attire she was wearing that evening made her glow. It amazes me truely how her beauty is upheld no matter what she seems to wear or do.. as she was remarkable both in simple pj's and the most elegant of evening gowns.

I met her in the garden that evening and found out that even despite her festive attire no party was being held. Feeling that was a travesty in my opinion, I offered her a party of our own back at my room. She seemed relitively pleased with the idea and my room upon sight. She makes me feel a little silly on occasion.. because her speech is so elegant and thoughtout.. but I know it's not her fault that I on occassion say rather childish things... But anyway.. I must confess, the visual blend of her regal pride bordered by the vine covered stone walls and soft blossoms has almost an intoxicating effect. I requested a dance, however the hour and possibly the shared wine took it's toll first, and we were asleep before I knew it.

I slept in for the first time the next morning.

I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to share body heat... To feel the soft breath of a companion... To hear the gentle beat of their hear... And the implanted memory of the soft feel of their skin... It's something I do believe I will crave now, once again. As such a comfort is one of the richest in the world.

I never got my dance, but I'm sure I will one day. In the meantime I simply wonder if I would be more comfortable in Death's room as opposed to the mystery room I'd slept in a few days ago.. or if I'm to be kept in the garden forever. Either way, I think I shall see if any of the animals should care to sleep upon my bed. For as long as I don't have another person to keep me company, the warm and almost stuffed animal like companion might just do.

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The Chariot.. 6/25?

Something happened... and I'm really not sure what to think of it.

It started normally enough.. I'd been out in the stalls playing with my dear stallion companion.. A draft breed with a soft cremey almost palomino coloring. He calls himself Knight by the way... Right now I hope he forgives me for leaving him though..

My attention was taken away by a new male, The Chariot, of whom I gave a short tour of the maze and garden to. He claimed he'd been watching me for awhile, though I don't know if I mind really, it does seem a little silly however. He reminds me rather of a young stallion in a field full of mares in heat.. Very confident and cocky... and remarkably rather charming in his actions. In fact even rather intoxicating. Something rather inexpected happened as we neared my room though... Not that it was really unpleasant..

Upon reaching my room his mind immediately ran to the naughtest of places... And though I may have intended no such thing, my inital surprise was met with a gentle persuasion.. and it almost felt necessary for me to explore such a creature in anyway I could...

And I'll be the first to admit.. he can be a truely gourgeous creature in the heat of the moment. The liquid-like shift of his muscles as he moved was perhaps the most intoxicating of all sights... Very much like a horse in full run, it seemed almost right.. as if the muscles been made simply for that motion alone... though the the soft glisten of sweat on smooth skin was also pleasant somehow. Even just the soft change in voice.. and the unique sounds that came along with our encounter added a new twinge of lust, that tugged happily with the many sensations of the day.

I believe he left in the night.. around 12 hours after he'd first come to visit. Which was fine I suppose, I'm not certain if he'd be much for good conversation. But I won't judge what I've yet to test.. So perhaps, if he should return again some time, I'll test my theory.

The sounds still linger with me even now.. along with the soft musk and scent of him, though I'm sure the wind will very well steal that away from me before long. I've been bitten by something it seems... As now I wish to hear more of these sounds.. My ears can imagine them.. perhaps high pitched gasps from Syr? A more sultry purr from Death? Even the Wheel... I wonder if he'd make any sounds at all?

If nothing else I remember this... and it just seems right.

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June 27th

A task was completed after much procrastination. I finally set forth at making my glove over the 26th and 27th. It took me awhile to sew the thick leather together and my fingers ache a little from it, but I'm sure that'll pass quickly. It's made of soft, but thick hyde, leaving my fingers free but covering my entire forearm to elbow. It should help cut down on the number of unintentional talon injuries I get. Well.. with exception to the few smaller birds that prefer my shoulder.

Whie out particularly later catching fireflies I ran into a new comer. His name is Naraka and he is "The Tower". Unlike the others he had only just arrived and almost seemed upset about being here. I wonder how many will be coming? It would be nice to see a castle full of life and bustling activity. Anyway.. he snapped and was jumpy on occassion, very much like a caged animal.. but I think it was his fault. He's actually the first creature I've seen here that has shown any sort of fear or true discontent. I wonder if it's warrented?

He didn't seem to want help, much like Judgement or Sae, but I think it might just have been nerves. I offered him my room for the night, thinking it may calm his nerves, or give him time to think. He declined however. Perhaps we will meet again when he is in higher spirits? Or maybe, I can help hi find what he needs to be happy?

28th
I finally got my dance with Death, and though she wasn't decked out in her lovely dancing attire it was still a lot of fun. I don't think I was very good at it, but Death didn't show any open displeasure.

Our 'stage' was wonderful as well. The soft, slightly cool stone opening in front of the birdcages, all while the birds play happily around us in the morning light. It wasn't one's traditional short dance either, but more something of a drawn out affair, decorated in a beautiful morning, gourgeous scenery, and comfortable company.

She's promised to dance with me again in a more formal manner, should one day a ball or something of the sort be held. I look forward to it, though I haven't anything beautiful enough to wear to such an event.

We spoke of some things, but one is of the utmost secret and importance. Despite the obvious differences between us, we are very much kindred spirits in other ways. And it seems that I'm not the only one that on occassion craves a little shared bodyheat. She requested it and I happily offered an open invitation for her to come and sleep alongside me whenever fancy tugs her lonely strings.

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June 30th?
As the day wore on, the Charioteer gained a better appreciation of Strength's character, helping her brace the plants and remove any debris that could be flung by the storm. She was a gentle soul, compassionate towards all that surrounded her. Under her direction, the two worked until the Charioteer's gauntlets were black to the elbow from the rich black loam that supported the gardens, and their knees were weary from the endless crouching and rising. At last, the first of the raindrops had begun to come down as they worked, and he had taken his gentle flower by the hand and led her to the tunnels under the stables, down into the ground under the courtyard, and towards his tower.

Upon their arrival at the Charioteer's quarters, Strength began to grow ill at ease with her surroundings. Sensing this, the Charioteer showed her into the bedroom, where she could look out the great windows at the towering thunderheads, while he went into the bathroom to start the water running. Once he had started the great, lavish tub to filling, the Charioteer stripped out of his dirty garments and deposited them in a bin beneath the sink. Now adorned only with his dignity, he called to Strength to come do the same, and join him.

Their activities in the bath complete, the Charioteer brought Strength out of the tub, and wrapped her in a large, soft towel from the linen closet. Tying another about his waist, he led her out of the bathroom once again into the bedroom.

The Charioteer swept the towel-clad Strength out of his bedroom with a promise of a quick tour of his apartment. They began in the sitting room, where she became fascinated with the chess set, each piece in its intricate detail ever slightly unique, as if a tiny army had been assembled specifically to man that board. The chess set was something that the Charioteer enjoyed as well, and he invited her to have a game with him, later.

Finished with the sitting room, they walked across into the hallway and then through to the Charioteer's trophy room, where the trophies bored Strength tremendously.

Bypassing the study as something that would hold little interest for his flighty companion, the Charioteer instead decided to entertain them both. He brought Strength back around through his bedroom once more, and into his closet. The ladies' rack, with over thirty different outfits upon it, proved to be quite a favorite with Strength. Between that and the discovery that fully half of the Charioteer's dresser drawers had been claimed by his female companions over the years, the pair were able to find some breathtaking combinations for the lady.

At last, though, their play turned to the gentle teasing and careful flirting that accompanied the discovery of the lingerie, and ended as such encounters are destined to, with the joy coming more from the doffing of clothes than the donning.

Having finished their games for the afternoon, Strength and the Charioteer curled up together atop his great bed, and gazed out at the storm while they spoke of many little things.

It seems I may have been wrong about the Chariot's lack of skills in speech. It was interesting to visit another's room, as so many have seen mind, and I've seen very few in return.

There are certain things that I dislike... but they are part of his nature, and I do believe I can likely look past them. Competition after all is not a bad thing.. simply not something I like to play in myself. Hmm.. and I almost find it necessary to visit his steeds again.. and see how they feel about the activities.

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July 2nd
Hmmmm... it is something strange really. I cannot understand why people wouldn't listen to Naraka's thoughts, or would get mad at him as he says. Some of the things he says are relitively scary.. horrible things happening in the past.. killing and hurting others... even bad things happening again. I very much hope that bad things will not occur, or that we can prevent them but I suppose for that perhaps I really should start trying to remember what I can. My memories so far have been pleasant.. the garden, people playing. The only real 'scary' thing I've felt was the loneliness before, but that seemed to dissapear as soon as people came along. Hmm.. oh well.

I think that now is a good time to voice my opinion on fate. I believe that there is absolutely no such thing and I hope on anything and everything holy that I'm write. Of all the thoughts in the world, the thought of some unseen force tearing me in a direction I can't do anything about is THE most ludicrious. Destiny I 'might' believe a little... as in things that are set to happen, but open to how you take them on and how they end.. But I truely believe with all my heart that there isn't a set line for us all to walk down. It's like a tree... there are SO many things that can affect the life of a tree and the way it grows. Sunlight, water, diseases, animal instances, people... so many things that can be thrown before it.. Sometimes the trees don't make it, and sometimes they'll bet all odds to come back, perhaps a little scarred and all the more wise, but still alive. It isn't practical to think that every moment and event in the life of something is planned out and orchestrated.. And if it is, that is truely one of the most depressing thoughts in exsistence.

July 4th
I went home for the day.. back to the real world for this and that... Though nothing of terrible importance occured.. I did get to see the fireworks. Perhaps one of my very favorite of man's creations.. lights in the sky, molded out of metals and compounds from the earth that when put together just right give nature a run for her money. Loud thundering booms, sizzling crackles, and sirens screams swallow up the air. And the lights? They are even better, taking on the shape of flowers, flowing water, trees... just about anything you could imagine. I wonder if anyone at the castle got to see fireworks? Or if perhaps I should try to scrap some up to bring back in for them?

July 6th
Hmm... it's very curious... Yesterday, when I was visiting the stables I spied a new horse and stopped to talk to him for awhile.. He told me of arriving and the person he arrived with. I'd planned on talking to him again.. but he was gone this morning. I wonder if perhaps he left, if he could that is? Well.. wherever he is, I do hope he's alright, I fear if he just got out of his stall and is wandering about the castle he might find himself in some danger...

Perhaps more interesting though, I got to see Naraka in a more playful mood. He actually came and surprised me while I was playing in the water. I was thrilled to see he was happy and even learn a tiny bit about him. It's a shame that he can't play in the sun a whole lot, but he doesn't seem to upset about that either. A day of surprises it would seem. Though I enjoy his company anytime, there is something even more pleasant about time spent with him while in good spirits.

He mentioned something to me of flowers that bloom at night.. so I think that once I figure out where he is staying.. or when I find some, that I will try to bring him some for his room. I wonder if he lives in a tower like Syr or the Chariot? Or if his room is starkly different from those I've seen?

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July 7th
Such an eventful day full of encounters with so many different people.

It all started in the morning when I went to the stables as usual. The horse I mentioned before, Bob, had vanished, and worrying about him I made it my task to find him. My first visit was to the Chariot, who very kindly lent me his large window and birds eye view to look. I didn't get to spend too much time with him, but I did find the way that I thought I should go.

At the lake I met the Emperess once again. She agreed to try to help me find Bob, and we set off for the garden. She still seems very kind and mother-like to me, but I also got to see a little more of her. Quite fittingly, the Emperess gives off a soft aire of elegance and regality.. though not quite the same as Death does... I think I'll reserve judgement on how to classify her.. but I should like to meet with her again. Together we got part of the way into the gardens and found some hoove prints to follow.

The Empress had gotten tired though, so when Judgement appeared she took her leave. It seems we have done some exploring in the oppisite directions, because he was able to tell me about the North and West sides of the castle, while I was able to show him things in the South. In anycase he was fun to talk to.. and we talked about a few different things.. Music.. people.. powers. It turns out that Bob was in the garden center and we found him there. Silly boy. heart

Powers and skills though... I realized that Judgement didn't know that I could talk to animals.. It's not that it's really important.. but it makes me curious about who, if anyone else, knows about my skills... and what kind of skills others might have? There are quite a few people here with musical talent I know.. but besides that, I haven't the slightest.

On our way to the stables Judgement did something very strange... It gave me such a weird feeling.. but I don't think it was a bad thing at all.. he even said something.. let's see.. I believe it was:
"A tranquil heart is what you bear
And as you pass, it fills the air.
Though anger clouds the mind, it’s true,
Shine your sun, clear sky’s anew."

Upon returning Bob to the stables I also ran into Sly. I didn't get more then a hello in.. but still, he's the first non card holder I've met. Which hopefully means the castle will soon be full of life. How wonderful is that?

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July 12th
It seems I was right in my thoughts that the castle would have more guests. Seemingly overnight the castle became filled with others. "Servants" as I hear. Gardeners of all ages tend to different parts of the gardens. Stable boys tend to the horse and stable upkeep, and from what I gathered from one of the boys, an older man has stepped charge into the main task of horse excersizing and training. I've seen workers in the crops, the maze, even around the pools.

The real surprise met me as I woke up however. I opened my eyes to find two men sitting in my room waiting for me, both dressed very much like me.. in rather animal hide and tribal attire.

One of them, Kelile, is HUGE. An African of aborignal decent I came to find out. His skin is the most beautiful chocolate brown color and his build is massive, very much like a bear. What I've heard so far of his past is depressing, but reguardless a smile tends to rest upon his face. So far he seems to be the more quiet of the two and definately the wiser of the two. He seems less playful, and yet when he does let loose a stray tease or joke on occassion it is quite a treat.

The other, Collin, is from Australian decent. He is the younger and more playful then Kelile but that doesn't make him much smaller in the least. His tanned skin and hair color almost exactly match my own, however his skin is covered in various tattoos and markings. Perhaps if he knows how to do it himself, he may give me one some day. Collin has a rather firey personality, another irony as that is his name's meaning, and is much more talkative and jovial. The two get along quite well it would seem.. but I think it's the similarity of experiences. Both are in the prime of their lives, and I should hope that they will enjoy life here more then they did before.

On a completely different note. I was more then a little shooken at the arrival of the men.. so before I'd had a chance to learn very much about them, I ran off towards the courtyard, running into both Judgement and Go. We talked about a few different things.. but the important parts were this:
Though recieving a few small injuries from his fall, Go healed happily and well, so he's fine. Which is good to hear. Also.. Go found a very old box containing a few different things from hundreds of years ago. One of them was a necklace. A little large and gaudy.. but still beautiful in it's own way. A large uncut.. maybe oynx? stone rests in the middle with a tear drop diamond on each side.. and tear drop saphires alongside those, all resting upon a golden chain. And he gave it to me. Hmm.. I hope that I can take good care of it, and that I can find some other way to repay his kindness some day.
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July 13th
The boys seem to become a little more comfortable with this place everyday, and though there are the occassional bickerings about may lack of 'allowing them to serve' the time is enjoyable. I think their companionship is one of the most wonderful things that the castle has brought along for me. Though they don't seem very versed in tons of knowledge both have extensive knowledge on the plants and animals from the same area as them.. Not to mention skills of the survival sort and any knowledge that would bring. Not only are they helpful in what they know, but they are seemingly willing to help with nearly any task I ask.. be it helping to uproot dead tree roots, or move heavy things, or even today Kelile helped to hold down one of the rabbits as I tried to put a mix of herbs on a nasty cut it'd gotten while in a tiff with another animal the day before.

The only real problem I've run into follows our beliefs. I continue to try to convince Kelile and Collin that they are worth just as much as me or anyone else, but so far they have seemed to shrug it off. It has become apparent as well, that the outdoor helpers all look up towards me. And I do not want that. A tree, a butterfly, a peasant, a king, all are worth the same when the day ends... I just wish people would realize that.
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