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Tentacle Bait

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Post: 24538561_1 created on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:33:37 +0000
Posted: Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:33:37 +0000

Disclaimer: This is an essay for the Gaia Elitist Week essay contest; an essay on "what makes you superior." Giving feedback is optional; it apparently helps when it comes to judging time, but I know you guys are sick of these entries by now. At least they are short?

The 100-150 word limit does make for a very tough task. I apologize for the brevity, it is hard to express myself concisely, but I pared it down to the best of my ability. And I realize now that my disclaimer is very probably longer than my "essay" ...

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person

appear

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130 words

Zen Gentleman Lifeguard

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Post: 24538561_2 created on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 22:13:45 +0000
Posted: Sat, 17 Mar 2007 22:13:45 +0000

As a rival, and perhaps literary type, I will offer you a partially objective critique. We all know the literary maxim, "Show, don't tell." I feel like I'm being told what you are rather than being shown... AND what I see on the page seems to contradict your argument. Your word choice puts on airs and the abstract metaphors are really loosely constructed tropes - i.e. "trap of ego" - that hold nothing on the page.

Also, I would question the identity of the author. And I would argue that missing this piece of the puzzle is more of a detriment to your argument - as it does not present evidence, and it even goes so far as to contradict your claim of "appearing" to be a good person.

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Post: 24538561_3 created on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 22:25:06 +0000
Posted: Sat, 17 Mar 2007 22:25:06 +0000

My favorite one so far!

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Post: 24538561_4 created on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:35:06 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:35:06 +0000

Zen Gentleman Lifeguard

It is somewhat difficult to "show" in an essay where, essentially, the purpose is to tell. It would have gone far past the word limit to provide examples and elaborate on the essential message. Had I the space? I may have done so. The simple fact of the matter, however, is that I believe that running around, telling the world the extent of my personal greatness is unnecessary.

Zen Gentleman Lifeguard

Also, I would question the identity of the author.

Question away. Answers are not forthcoming. A certain degree of anonymity is essential for me to express my ideals of elite qualities without violating those beliefs; specifically the ones regarding negation by-self-promotion.

There are crucial albeit slim differences between the elite, elitists, and attention whores. I endeavor to behave more akin to the "elite" rather than the "elitist." If I wish to be truly superior to those around me, then I must not actively claim that superiority.

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Post: 24538561_5 created on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 17:32:56 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Mar 2007 17:32:56 +0000

Simply put: I am not convinced by what your essay put down on the page, or your response. I do think it is more than possible to effectively demonstrate a point within 150 words.

Also, I meant to imply - it would have been more compelling if you had used your real identity... You being who I might suspect you are, I might have sympathized more with your essay if you were willing to show a more public form of humility.

I realize you have your reasons for using your mules. And perhaps it does support your point. And yet, like the distinctions you draw between being "Elite" and "Elitist" - there is a difference between the rhetorical use of pathos and bathos.

I'm arguing that although you may have made your point, you may have presented a stronger case. I hope you do not take this critique personally, although my opinion is based on the strong convictions of my personality.

And now I will say to you:

Good day.

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