Soundfall
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- Posted: Sat, 08 Apr 2006 02:23:20 +0000
The Prelude
The dwindling white sun meekly filled the dreary dark blue sky that covered the village. It was smaller than it had been in days past, but it burned with more passion then ever, scorching the dreadful place. The village was a cobble of huts around the village center, where a single well was located, as well as an eternally tended fire. A pyramid overshadowed the village; it was where their God lived.
The villager entered the central chamber of the pyramid cowering, dragging a heavy trunk behind him. It left a spreading wave of kicked-up sand; the Guard at his left coughed and gave him a dirty look. He was barely able to lug the trunk across the room because of his nervous, shaking hands. The villager stopped, and wiped the sweat off his hands on his long sandy robes-then quickly continued when the irritated Guard glowered and shook his head.
Reaching the altar on which Ceres would be in mere moments, the villager stopped and knelt. His hands shook, so he placed them on the sandy ground before him. He felt a rising tide of apprehension inside; last year had not gone well. He hoped he would leave alive on this day. Last year's broken arm had been a blessing of mercy.
The double doors on the altar burst open with a crack, and Ceres, the god of the village, strode out. In truth he had only been the ruler of the village for over two centuries; he said he had since the beginning of time itself. Most of the village's meager population followed him reluctantly, some even fervently, and some harbored thoughts of what the village would be like without his crushing reign over it. Dressed in a long black robe, Ceres was not just imposing; he was down-right terrifying. His face was entirely masked by the shadow of the robe, and no one had ever seen his face.
Hurriedly, the villager tossed open the trunk and bowed to the ground.
"Either you are a fool or you hold an incredibly strong death wish. You know this is not nearly enough." said Ceres calmly, kicking over the trunk. Out spilled the villager's most valuable possessions: gold, jewels, silver. "This is the second year in a row you have come with much too little." He raised his right hand. In it was a ruby, attached to all five of his fingers by solid gold plates. The villager scurried away, but the ruby started to glow. Suddenly the ruby pulsed, and a wave of energy hit him, tossing him against the cold stones. He crumpled to the floor like a wilting flower, and Ceres laughed loudly.
The sand near the wall was now stained, blood red.
The rest of my story: http://me.emptysnow.com/writing/?story=0
Inspiration:
Yes, I realize many of the themes are taken from Stargate SG-1. I acknowlage this wholeheartedy, but would like you to note that I am taking a more magical theme to it, similar to The Tales of the Dying Earth. Also, the fast movement thing was a throwback to Dune.
Feedback is appreciated.
The dwindling white sun meekly filled the dreary dark blue sky that covered the village. It was smaller than it had been in days past, but it burned with more passion then ever, scorching the dreadful place. The village was a cobble of huts around the village center, where a single well was located, as well as an eternally tended fire. A pyramid overshadowed the village; it was where their God lived.
The villager entered the central chamber of the pyramid cowering, dragging a heavy trunk behind him. It left a spreading wave of kicked-up sand; the Guard at his left coughed and gave him a dirty look. He was barely able to lug the trunk across the room because of his nervous, shaking hands. The villager stopped, and wiped the sweat off his hands on his long sandy robes-then quickly continued when the irritated Guard glowered and shook his head.
Reaching the altar on which Ceres would be in mere moments, the villager stopped and knelt. His hands shook, so he placed them on the sandy ground before him. He felt a rising tide of apprehension inside; last year had not gone well. He hoped he would leave alive on this day. Last year's broken arm had been a blessing of mercy.
The double doors on the altar burst open with a crack, and Ceres, the god of the village, strode out. In truth he had only been the ruler of the village for over two centuries; he said he had since the beginning of time itself. Most of the village's meager population followed him reluctantly, some even fervently, and some harbored thoughts of what the village would be like without his crushing reign over it. Dressed in a long black robe, Ceres was not just imposing; he was down-right terrifying. His face was entirely masked by the shadow of the robe, and no one had ever seen his face.
Hurriedly, the villager tossed open the trunk and bowed to the ground.
"Either you are a fool or you hold an incredibly strong death wish. You know this is not nearly enough." said Ceres calmly, kicking over the trunk. Out spilled the villager's most valuable possessions: gold, jewels, silver. "This is the second year in a row you have come with much too little." He raised his right hand. In it was a ruby, attached to all five of his fingers by solid gold plates. The villager scurried away, but the ruby started to glow. Suddenly the ruby pulsed, and a wave of energy hit him, tossing him against the cold stones. He crumpled to the floor like a wilting flower, and Ceres laughed loudly.
The sand near the wall was now stained, blood red.
The rest of my story: http://me.emptysnow.com/writing/?story=0
Inspiration:
Yes, I realize many of the themes are taken from Stargate SG-1. I acknowlage this wholeheartedy, but would like you to note that I am taking a more magical theme to it, similar to The Tales of the Dying Earth. Also, the fast movement thing was a throwback to Dune.
Feedback is appreciated.
