CCMinerva
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Posted: Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:11:17 +0000
Maybe it's time I switched mules again. This isn't any fun if people know who I am. I'm posting this in the Chatterbox so it doesn't sit in my journal where more people will see it.
This is your last warning. This is about me and how people have screwed up my life, my family's and my friends'. Don't read this unless you want to see another example of how ******** up life can be.
If you don't know who I am, please leave it that way. I use this account to be anonymous in a sense. When my life went to hell in 2004 I lost everything I cared about. It's been two years and the one thing I needed to keep me going is still not getting any better. I had one good friend that I was sure I'd never lose, and I did, in a way far worse than I could have imagined. And I don't mean death. I had to watch them go through something terrible, and no matter how hard I tried to help I was powerless.
I may get straight A's in school but my family is a disaster, my health is very poor, and I haven't seen 99% of my friends in a very long time, so you can imagine why I say "life sucks." I *used* to have a hard time keeping up with PM's because I had so many friends. I loved it here before. But when my health gave out on me and when my best friend was gone... I had to drop out of college, I couldn't keep it up anymore. She was the one thing that kept me going. I've barely been able to manage 4 days a week of school since I was a kid. I haven't slept for more than a few hours a night for the past 9 years. And I've had to spend every penny I have on doctor bills since 2004.
If you see me be grumpy in my posts, I apologize for that. And for saying rude things like what I said up top there. I really hate life right now. I'm tired of apologizing for being stressed when I have a reason to be, but that doesn't mean at all that I LIKE being stuck in a crappy life and being miserable and hiding from everyone. &%$#* that's not what I want at all.
People treated me like s**t when I asked for help. I'm tired of being nice about it. They did. I asked nicely. I asked everyone I could think of, all kinds of people and friends and got kicked in the face for it. I figured if a friend asks for help that should mean something, but nooo, you just spit in their face and kick them into the mud. Yeah. Thanks guys. You remind me of my b*****d of a father who treated women and his kids like dirt. If you really don't care when a person asks for help, what kind of a piece of s**t are you? That's how much you are worth to the rest of the world if you're that selfish.
I'm fed up with this world. Nobody cared how hard I tried. You're proabably all the kind of people who would be happy to see that guy I know who asked for help in the Chatterbox as a dead body being wheeled out of his house on a stretcher. He was about to commit suicide before his father got to him and his mother. That ALMOST was how his life and his family ended. In the end his mom didn't make it, she was stabbed by his father and now he's in jail.
What about him? Do you know why he survived and is happily engaged to someone now?
Because someone took the time to say "Dude, I've been there. Here's how I got through it." Everyone else said, "Shut up crybaby" like it was somehow supposed to make him think people gave a damn about his life.
You people make me sick. You think asking for help is reason to kick them into the dirt. YOU are the reason I'm writing this miserable explanation of my life here and why *I* am not making friends on Gaia at the moment. I'm still waiitng for the day my efforts pay off and my problems are fixed. I've worked as hard as I can for the past 2 years on it. Had things not gone to hell, I'd be happily married right now, or at least content knowing that the person I care about most has found their dreams instead of losing out on them and everything they deserve permanently.
Kick me in the face as much as you want, just don't hurt my friends. I dealt with s**t for 24 years now, I overcame all of it before and made something of this miserable life I was given, and I will do it again.
This is your last warning. This is about me and how people have screwed up my life, my family's and my friends'. Don't read this unless you want to see another example of how ******** up life can be.
If you don't know who I am, please leave it that way. I use this account to be anonymous in a sense. When my life went to hell in 2004 I lost everything I cared about. It's been two years and the one thing I needed to keep me going is still not getting any better. I had one good friend that I was sure I'd never lose, and I did, in a way far worse than I could have imagined. And I don't mean death. I had to watch them go through something terrible, and no matter how hard I tried to help I was powerless.
I may get straight A's in school but my family is a disaster, my health is very poor, and I haven't seen 99% of my friends in a very long time, so you can imagine why I say "life sucks." I *used* to have a hard time keeping up with PM's because I had so many friends. I loved it here before. But when my health gave out on me and when my best friend was gone... I had to drop out of college, I couldn't keep it up anymore. She was the one thing that kept me going. I've barely been able to manage 4 days a week of school since I was a kid. I haven't slept for more than a few hours a night for the past 9 years. And I've had to spend every penny I have on doctor bills since 2004.
If you see me be grumpy in my posts, I apologize for that. And for saying rude things like what I said up top there. I really hate life right now. I'm tired of apologizing for being stressed when I have a reason to be, but that doesn't mean at all that I LIKE being stuck in a crappy life and being miserable and hiding from everyone. &%$#* that's not what I want at all.
People treated me like s**t when I asked for help. I'm tired of being nice about it. They did. I asked nicely. I asked everyone I could think of, all kinds of people and friends and got kicked in the face for it. I figured if a friend asks for help that should mean something, but nooo, you just spit in their face and kick them into the mud. Yeah. Thanks guys. You remind me of my b*****d of a father who treated women and his kids like dirt. If you really don't care when a person asks for help, what kind of a piece of s**t are you? That's how much you are worth to the rest of the world if you're that selfish.
I'm fed up with this world. Nobody cared how hard I tried. You're proabably all the kind of people who would be happy to see that guy I know who asked for help in the Chatterbox as a dead body being wheeled out of his house on a stretcher. He was about to commit suicide before his father got to him and his mother. That ALMOST was how his life and his family ended. In the end his mom didn't make it, she was stabbed by his father and now he's in jail.
What about him? Do you know why he survived and is happily engaged to someone now?
Because someone took the time to say "Dude, I've been there. Here's how I got through it." Everyone else said, "Shut up crybaby" like it was somehow supposed to make him think people gave a damn about his life.
You people make me sick. You think asking for help is reason to kick them into the dirt. YOU are the reason I'm writing this miserable explanation of my life here and why *I* am not making friends on Gaia at the moment. I'm still waiitng for the day my efforts pay off and my problems are fixed. I've worked as hard as I can for the past 2 years on it. Had things not gone to hell, I'd be happily married right now, or at least content knowing that the person I care about most has found their dreams instead of losing out on them and everything they deserve permanently.
Kick me in the face as much as you want, just don't hurt my friends. I dealt with s**t for 24 years now, I overcame all of it before and made something of this miserable life I was given, and I will do it again.
