6GeMiNi9
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Wed, 01 Mar 2006 17:01:57 +0000
This isn't too long, granted it's just the intro... but I kinda wanna know what you guys think so far, so please comment and critique
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The Asa Chronicles Book 1-Uron Vs Omesa
Chapter 1((Omitted Intro, just figured it wasn't necessary, this is like the first 2 pages of Chapter 1 I expect at least 10-13 pages all togehter))
If you had the ability to help someone, the ability to save the lives of thousands, you would do it, wouldn't you? I thought so too. So why, when the time came, didn't I?
Ambros' body slammed into the ground, and once again he found himself defeated by his opponent.
"Damn it," he muttered under his breath.
“Get up,” his opponent said as he walked closer to his tired body on the cold marble floor. Ambros' hands clenched into fists as he stared frustrated at the reflections on the floors of the gilded room. What he saw was himself, dressed in white garb, straggly blond hair in a mess around his face, sweating and pale from the fight and lying defeated on his stomach on the floor. His opponent stood tall, tan with broad shoulders, also wearing the same white garb, long black hair in a braid flowing down his back. The difference between them, in most aspects was not physical, but the one standing was confident and triumphant whilst his adversary lay defeated and angry.
“Why don't you just finish me off already, Kerian?” Ambros pouted.
“Why don't you just join the drama class?” Kerian asked in return.
“Well, I would. But you see, I'm a terrible actor,” Ambros replied as he rolled onto his back.
“Oh I beg to differ, you're quite the drama queen,” Kerian laughed.
“Shut up and help me out here. I can't be late for History again,” Ambros held up his hand.
"Oh right, well if you weren't always messing around before class you'd be fine. Aside from that, it's gotten you nowhere. Leslie doesn't share the same affections for you as you do her," Kerian said as he walked over to Ambros and helped him up to his feet.
“And I suppose you would have better luck?” Ambros inquired.
“I'm a winner, what can I say?”
“You can't win them all, Kerian.”
“I know that, but today I'll win a few,” Kerian said as he turned and began to walk away. Ambros shook his head. He was realizing that Kerian was getting to a dangerous point, where he was becoming not only cocky but a little hotheaded.
“Maybe you just need some cooling down,” he said in a low voice as he walked slowly behind Kerian with a ball of liquid slowly forming in the palm of his hand.
Master Sojin was merely passing by the sparring room when he heard a ruckus coming from inside. He paused for a moment at the large double doors. Newcomers often stared at those doors, large, three times the size of a tall man and beautifully engraved with elegant designs hand-carved by artists into solid gold. Master Sojin, however, ignored the beautiful surroundings about him. The shiny white marble floors, the lengthy columns, the gilded walls did not phase him, not anymore. He cared not what the appearance was, though magnificent; he cared only for what happened within those magnificent walls.
Master Sojin could hear two voices from the room, and furthermore he recognized them. The voices belonged to Kerian Armand and Ambros Terran, the two star pupils of his academy. He sighed however, as he had probably missed a very interesting match for he knew once the talking began that the fighting was over. What a shame, he had begun to think. But only a half a moment later, he was not so disappointed.
From the room came the noise of splashing water, and Kerian's voice came quite angrily after that. Strangely enough, Kerian did not speak for long before the sound of a flame bursting to life appeared followed by Ambros' screaming. Another splash of water, and Kerian laughing aloud came before the two large doors began to open. Master Sojin stepped back to see an interesting sight.
Hiss eyebrow rose at the sight of the two boys, drenched in water. By their expressions it was clear that they were a little surprised by his presence. The two were quick to show their respect to their superior and bow; however, they bowed a little too hard and ended up splashing him a bit.
“Well, it's good to see you two are training hard. Ambros, I notice that your sparring outfit has been burnt... again,” Master Sojin said as he wiped the water off his face with the long white sleeve of his robe.
Master Sojin was an elderly man; he had wrinkles, and a very gray almost white beard. His eyes were always squinted because he constantly smiled creating more creases and wrinkles in his face. He used a staff to walk, and dressed in large robes that often made him look diminutive. But there was still something about him that exuded brilliance and strength. He was the headmaster of Uron's Academy of the Asas, a training school for those gifted with powers from the gods. He stood now, a little wet, in front of his two soaking wet and slightly burnt star pupils.
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The Asa Chronicles Book 1-Uron Vs Omesa
Chapter 1((Omitted Intro, just figured it wasn't necessary, this is like the first 2 pages of Chapter 1 I expect at least 10-13 pages all togehter))
If you had the ability to help someone, the ability to save the lives of thousands, you would do it, wouldn't you? I thought so too. So why, when the time came, didn't I?
Ambros' body slammed into the ground, and once again he found himself defeated by his opponent.
"Damn it," he muttered under his breath.
“Get up,” his opponent said as he walked closer to his tired body on the cold marble floor. Ambros' hands clenched into fists as he stared frustrated at the reflections on the floors of the gilded room. What he saw was himself, dressed in white garb, straggly blond hair in a mess around his face, sweating and pale from the fight and lying defeated on his stomach on the floor. His opponent stood tall, tan with broad shoulders, also wearing the same white garb, long black hair in a braid flowing down his back. The difference between them, in most aspects was not physical, but the one standing was confident and triumphant whilst his adversary lay defeated and angry.
“Why don't you just finish me off already, Kerian?” Ambros pouted.
“Why don't you just join the drama class?” Kerian asked in return.
“Well, I would. But you see, I'm a terrible actor,” Ambros replied as he rolled onto his back.
“Oh I beg to differ, you're quite the drama queen,” Kerian laughed.
“Shut up and help me out here. I can't be late for History again,” Ambros held up his hand.
"Oh right, well if you weren't always messing around before class you'd be fine. Aside from that, it's gotten you nowhere. Leslie doesn't share the same affections for you as you do her," Kerian said as he walked over to Ambros and helped him up to his feet.
“And I suppose you would have better luck?” Ambros inquired.
“I'm a winner, what can I say?”
“You can't win them all, Kerian.”
“I know that, but today I'll win a few,” Kerian said as he turned and began to walk away. Ambros shook his head. He was realizing that Kerian was getting to a dangerous point, where he was becoming not only cocky but a little hotheaded.
“Maybe you just need some cooling down,” he said in a low voice as he walked slowly behind Kerian with a ball of liquid slowly forming in the palm of his hand.
Master Sojin was merely passing by the sparring room when he heard a ruckus coming from inside. He paused for a moment at the large double doors. Newcomers often stared at those doors, large, three times the size of a tall man and beautifully engraved with elegant designs hand-carved by artists into solid gold. Master Sojin, however, ignored the beautiful surroundings about him. The shiny white marble floors, the lengthy columns, the gilded walls did not phase him, not anymore. He cared not what the appearance was, though magnificent; he cared only for what happened within those magnificent walls.
Master Sojin could hear two voices from the room, and furthermore he recognized them. The voices belonged to Kerian Armand and Ambros Terran, the two star pupils of his academy. He sighed however, as he had probably missed a very interesting match for he knew once the talking began that the fighting was over. What a shame, he had begun to think. But only a half a moment later, he was not so disappointed.
From the room came the noise of splashing water, and Kerian's voice came quite angrily after that. Strangely enough, Kerian did not speak for long before the sound of a flame bursting to life appeared followed by Ambros' screaming. Another splash of water, and Kerian laughing aloud came before the two large doors began to open. Master Sojin stepped back to see an interesting sight.
Hiss eyebrow rose at the sight of the two boys, drenched in water. By their expressions it was clear that they were a little surprised by his presence. The two were quick to show their respect to their superior and bow; however, they bowed a little too hard and ended up splashing him a bit.
“Well, it's good to see you two are training hard. Ambros, I notice that your sparring outfit has been burnt... again,” Master Sojin said as he wiped the water off his face with the long white sleeve of his robe.
Master Sojin was an elderly man; he had wrinkles, and a very gray almost white beard. His eyes were always squinted because he constantly smiled creating more creases and wrinkles in his face. He used a staff to walk, and dressed in large robes that often made him look diminutive. But there was still something about him that exuded brilliance and strength. He was the headmaster of Uron's Academy of the Asas, a training school for those gifted with powers from the gods. He stood now, a little wet, in front of his two soaking wet and slightly burnt star pupils.