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Raith

Date: February 1st
Mood: O_o

What the ********, my entry viewed twice...

*changes it*

Tried to outsmart me, bastards?? DDDD<

-Raith

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Raith

Date: February 5th
Mood: Sick

I'm so... tired right now...

I dont think I even have the strength or mind power to really write right now... but I guess I'll just go ahead and try.

It seems that my little stomach ache from before actually turned into a full blown stomach virus. So, that's right kiddies, Raith is sick. The King of Miserable has only become miserable himself.

I really dont know, I'm just really exhausted.

With all the puking that I did, I guess I really have the right to be. I really dont know how bullemics can do this every single day for practically the rest of their lives. Even once you can practically feel all your energy being sucked away into this vile liquid floating lazily in your toilet.

This reflex could be deemed both helpful and yet a burden...

Heh, but beforehand, I dont know how to make up it all.

Like when I tried to go and 'apologize' to Knife because I provoked her into attacking me (Which btw, I still have to use bandages to keep the wound from bleeding thankyouverymuch). But for some odd reason... I just couldnt.

... And it only unerves me even more since I know the exact reason why I just cant. But what pissed me off was when people started thinking that me and her were an item...

... ********...

And to make situations worse, Aleah and Bane were ripping at each other's throats (Well, I did enjoy /that/ part), but I seriously despise the fact that they treat Spaz like she was some type of expensive doll that's merely one of a kind. Hello? She has a ******** soul too, you know...

They say to each other that they're heartless beings with flaws. They're both right. And both hypocrites too.

Though I do have to give my respects to Aleah for thinking of such ellaborate insults. Gold star for you.

... I really dont think I can type anymore. I'm right at the end of my line in what energy I could spare that's not for breathing.

It just hurts... so much...

-Raith

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Raith

Date: February 11th
Mood: Lazy

Meh, not really in the mood to write right now, but I'll see what I can do.

Apparently, a few new 'victims' came by the other day; one of them occuring to be a new step sister for me. Really, I couldnt care less, but she does remind me of this blonde chick from that one game I played before...

And I have good reason to think such a way as well. She can only speak in this type of language that I heard of most in the game. But from a conversation I overheard... (Or more presumably overtranslated since I dont even care enough of the language to properly learn in the first place), Sabith claims that it's some type of slave language for the lower class.

Hmm... odd... though I wouldnt really know since I've never really been there, so the possibilities are open to me. And frankly, I really cant care either. No offense to Sabith, but I really shouldnt even give a damn about something I was never part of in the first place.

Oh well...

Anyway, back to Hashi... or Hammer...

... I think I'll just call her Rikku to piss her off. :3

She seems to have this fetish for anything technology, which is pretty much fine by me. Though it sort of seems that she has no ******** clue what everything technology is about, so in a way you can sort of presume that it's even worse.

Also, it looks like there's going to be some sort of V-day event taking place in the shop. Dont really care about that either.

Blah, typed too much. I'm going into hybernation now.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: February 14th
Mood: Frustrated

What the hell happened yesterday?? >_o;

Firstly, Brenda made me bring all these Valentines day crap over to the shop so I could give them to the people I knew. Of course, being the little rebellious jackass I am, I completely refused. And that meant acting my normal cocky manner at everyone.

But everyone wasnt there at the moment, so I ended up having somewhat of a civil conversation with Bane. Not like I really enjoyed it or whatever, but I think those chocolates had some weird effect on me.

Especially when I saw Knife later on that day. She seemed in a rush, but that wouldnt stop me from giving her those roses I was forced to give through the threatenings of castration. I was somewhat surprised though, since she actually took them and THANKED me.

Weird...

I probably would of done more( Negatively! Get your ******** minds out of the gutter! >_O ), but I accidently brought that stupid gem with me, so I couldnt stand the heat in the room. But there was no way in hell I was going to show that idiot that I took her piece of witchcraft from her, so I sort of... fled.

._.

Which reminds me now...

WHERE THE HELL IS MY SURFBOARD?!

-Raith

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Brenda

Date: February 20th
Mood: gonk

EEEH! OH NOES! gonk

What has happened?? What had gone full of wrongs??

I thought everything was going swell at the shop... ;_;

It seems that Raith was sent to the hospital because Knife stabbed him instead of ravishing him like planned! But alas, I guess things dont work as way as planned. u.u

Oh well...

...

But in other instances, I got him a Sister! He'll be SO happy! xd

-Brenda

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Raith

Date: February 21st
Mood: Calm

...

I was being pitied again as I found myself in the Hospital earlier yesterday. I have no ******** clue why so many people were there, but I'm guessing they'd want to see me die for themselves.

... Well, though you cant say that I didnt mind all the attention I was getting, especially since both Sabith and Bane were there.

But I'll leave that part out until I get to talk about everyone else, /especially/ a small bright ball of sunshine that Brenda seemed to conviniently adopt out of my own misery. Her name's Dawn, and she's somewhat of a cute kid, though I really cant see how she can be so happy all the time.

... But still... pretty cute...

But over to what I /really/ want to talk about...

I dont... know how it happened really, but I guess it's a mix of being on several medications at once to the point where I'm sincere about everything.

Bane... he's a nice kid... Sabith had told me that he worried throughout the whole duration, and practically never left my side the moment the doctors let them into my room. I was... sort of touched by that...

And I /really/ really dont know how or why it happened, but I soon find us both... yeah...

Not that I'm saying it wasnt nice; Hell, it was ******** wonderful! And if I could do it again, I seriously would.

It's just... really sudden.

I dont know, maybe I'm just being a little paranoid here, but we're both still idiot teenagers, and commitment isnt the brightest of ideas to produce right now. We have our whole lives ahead of us, and to stop right now like this would be a waste.

No no, dont get me wrong, I wouldnt mind spending the rest of my life with him... it's just...

... Can you say it was a bit selfish of me that I only brought up the fact that we both need to see other people first for my own gain?

I guess you can, but even though a part of me can truly say that I 'love' him, there's a bit of of conflict in my mind, you know. It's as if something's holding me back from completely committing. It's a little nerve wrecking, and this sort of makes me feel a little guilty for treating Spaz so harshly.

... But I cant see what she sees in Aleah. The guy is completely obsessed with her to the level where even /I/ would find it quite disturbing (Which says alot, damnit! ). Oh, dont get me wrong, the guy is nice and caring, but somewhat /too/ caring.

Dude, chill out, she's not a ******** plant that you have to watch over everyday because she's so 'helpless'. She can live on her own, and she doesnt need you babying her all the time like some Damsel in Distress.

Plus, if you 'loved' her, you'd respect her. That means, in the commitment you make to her, you make a commitment to ALL her friends and family. Being like a ******** Cod to Bane when he tries to at least bring you on neutral status, is just as worse as giving a nice hard /slap/ on Spaz's face.

...

Blah, maybe I'm just being a little too harsh... but I'm on medication right now so my mind's not as sharp as it should be. So I need someone to rant about...

Plus, I need to get all this 'nice' and 'worry' out of my system, it's pissing me off.

...

Though this gets me wondering... is the reason why I did that with Bane was because the kid was feeling truly awful for being ignored by Spaz all the time, and constantly pushed around by people like Aleah? Was that an actual form of love? Or a form of pity instead?

Gah, I'm so unbalanced right now, I sort of wish Knife was here so I could argue with her instead of myself. At least she's enjoyable to be with with her own special personality. It seems to brighten my day whenever I see her puff up in anger like that so easily, you can sort of even say it's cute.

... Even if she /did/ stab me with her namesake, and believe me the ******** hurts ALOT.

I need to get my mind sorted out... I'm thinking too much and it's not even 7 in the morning. But I'm glad that I could type this up on a laptop I borrowed while having to deal with both Bane's and Sabith's snores around me.

Ha ha.

... Ugh... I'm getting some more sleep.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: February 25th
Mood: Unrest

Ugh... why the hell am I still up at 2 AM in the morning? It's not like I have a ******** essay due later on today like Brenda, who I can here furiously typing on the other side of the room but whatever.

I guess you can say that I deserve this small spout of insomnia for what I've done...

But before I talk about that, first matter's first.

It's come to mine and Brenda's agreement both that I should get a tattoo of some sort. Because, really, tattooes are just that great. Except the tribal ones of course since those are so overrated and cliched that it tears as my heart that such people would actually do such a thing.

Though... Brenda's idea isnt really better. I'm going to get a snake yes... but 'down there'?? Cmon, I'm not going to give up /that/ easily to have my nether regions attacked constantly with knifes and needles!

Bleh... so yeah, while the b***h is off to school I'm being 'shapperoned' by some guy just to make sure I /do/ get that tattoo today. Goddamnit... this is seriously going to hurt like a goddamn b***h without any lube.

...

Writing's helping me in my dilemma a little, but I cant help but feel somewhat tainted at what I've done.

I'm talking about Bane... I can see the anger and sadness in his eyes as he walks by me each time as I try to ignore him by every possible means. You can say that it hurts me to be like this to him, that after we've done such a thing as /that/ that I left him alone in the streets once more to fend for himself.

He's not really making my situation all the more easier. It makes me feel... tainted, loathed. I feel like some type of user for my own gains.

... Maybe a snake really would fit me...

But still, if I keep doing this, he might finally call it off and go for someone else. Someone... more worthy I guess.

Yes, I Raith, are saying that I'm not worthy to be with someone as caring and gentle as he. He needs someone to watch over him when he's sick, or protect him when he's hurt. He needs someone to trust all his secrets to no matter what.

But should I really the person that should be doing that? I mean, I admit I'm not that good at showing compassion at understanding, but part of me actually wants to be that caring figure he can look over at from behind his back.

I just... I just dont think I'm cut out for it though.

But alas, I'm just a teenager. Maybe times will change when I grow older and learn more about the world around me.

... And maybe I wont change and remain as my own arrogant self for the rest of my life.

...

Ugh, and I'm going to bed, Brenda's trying to make me do her esssay for her.

-Raith

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Raith

Date:February 27th
Mood: Content

Why oh why Brenda do you persist on doing all of your homework late at night for no good reason other than being too lazy in the day?

This time she seems to have some sort of History outline due, and I certainly dont feel sorry for her at all. But alas, she's forcing me to type slowly so I wont make much noise. >_o

Feh, but enough of that...

...

I truly did want to avoid Bane for at least a week before I'm atleast civil to him. But things didnt go as planned as he continued to worm his way in. And this ALL started with Aleah.

... No, I'm not as frustrated as I was with him now, though I still detest every fiber of his being. It's just.... I can truly see both sides of the spectrum now, and I really shouldnt blame him for whatever actions he's caused.

.... NO BRENDA, I'm NOT going to screw him! God, why cant you just leave me alone and let me find my OWN people to screw??? YOUR CHOICE IS TERRIBLE! GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK! scream

Ugh, but yeah. Xela and Bane are people you should be easily amused at with their pathetic bickering. It almost makes me sad to see that people like that exist in the world today. And it is of my most unfortane to even know them, much less act civil.

Oh, and Dawn finally returned as well. After 2 ******** days she finally comes back with Hammer. I wonder what the hell they were doing down there...

... Yet part of me is deciding that it's REALLY not right for me to know. Which makes me wonder...

Heh heh...

But whatever, I'm getting some shut eye.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: March 3rd
Mood: Blank

Right now, I'm sort of multitasking with packing my bags and typing this, since I sort of want it to be so that I end up in the shop first before my victim...

That's right... victim. In some sympathetic way I wish there could be something else I could do...

But no.

He's a danger to everyone, especially the ones that actually /mean/ something to me. He harmed and could of nearly /killed/ someone I truly...

... Loved? I dont know if I can place that sort of commitment yet, but I'm guessing it's close.

But that's not what matters. What matters is that, to prevent this from happening again, I have to get rid of the source. And I'll try any means I can do to do it.

******** it if I end up gutting myself as well. I just want him GONE.

Hmm, I guess I'll head over to the shop now.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: March 16th
Mood: Grumpy

Augh... what the ******** hell...?

For some odd reason, I'm literally tossed into this stupid adventure with Spaz where I have to go and find this damned Wookie and take a picture of it.

Of course, it would of been easy if it not for the fact that we were HANDCUFFED together. -_o;; I mean, seriously, what the ********?

So now we're stuck, unable to go back, and having to work at ******** Super Target because they think we're employees!

... Though I guess I cant complain. I havent seen any of the people that are simply annoying. Like Aleah the attention whore, or Knife the barbaric Xena impersonator.

But that also means I'm not able to see the people that I wouldnt mind seeing. Like Sabith or Dawn...

And yes, Bane.

Ugh, I now that weeks have passed by while I was in suspended animation, and I cant help but wonder if he'd forgotten about me already. It's very likely, of course.

Actually, I sort of hope he does. I'm too much of a problem for him, for whatever he's going through anyway. I think it's best that I stay away long enough for him to enact upon these teenage feelings.

... Except why do I feel miserable each time I think about that?

Ugh, whatever. It's no longer my problem now. My main priority is to get me and Spaz out of here ASAP.

There's a rash growing on my wrist from where the handcuff is. Bleah.

-Raith

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There's a sword left on the front step, and a note attached.

Happy ******** early birthday.

And that's all.

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Raith

Date: April 5th
Mood: Surprised

It's good to be back, goddamnit...

After a whole month being left in the hands of Brenda and Fromage, and a good 3 of those 4 weeks being spent in suspended animation, I have to say it's nice being back at home...

... Even though there's people claimed to be related to me there. -_o;

Brenda said they'd be gone once 'The plot is complete' or whatever, and even though it's only 2 more, it still feels pretty damn crowded.

Oh well, at least Dawn seems happy about it.I really missed her.

And I also miss a lot of people. Like Sabith, and ******** around with Knife, and maybe even Aleah's whiny little a**.

But the one I truly missed the most was...

... Well... you know.

Unfortunately though, I'm not allowed to see him on account on not being on his best behaviour around Dawn while I was gone.

I can understand Brenda about this, but that means I cant speak to him either! I mean, what the ******** is wrong with that??

Ugh.

But enough of the past, it's time for now.

Meaning, I grew. Sort of random actually, but I dont really mind. I feel just a little taller than I was before, and my hair seemed to grow a little longer.

Maybe I should update my wardrobe a bit, aye?

And also, I came to find a sword on the doorstep, seemingly for me. It's so light, and yet it feels so deadly in my grasp. Maybe /this/ is why Knife likes sharp objects. It probably gives her a sense of uncontrollable power.

...

Maybe I'll put it on a test run or something.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: April 5th
Mood: Annoyed

... Why the ******** did I have to get these damned spikes and ears? ._.

-Raith

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Raith

Date: May 2nd
Mood: Relieved

I got to see Bane the other day, and he seemed fine other than the fact that he grew, and is now spewing out semen from his spikes. Not like it's gross, but a little more unusual than I thought.

But it was nice seeing him; ended up dropping a lot of stress because of that, but I still wanna spend some more time with him. I hope I'll be able to see him soon; my visits to the shop are getting a bit scarse. And most likely for the rest of everyone here.

Though one thing that I didnt like was that Hitai kid. Not annoying in the sense as other moronic asses his age, but he reminds me of a broken record. May tradgedy strike him soon, hopefully.

Pft, preaching at how he killed back in Sepia. Big ******** whoop. Well, sorry kid, as informative as that may seem, it only shows that you're just stuck in the past.

Sepia's destroyed, and entirely a figment of our imagination now. It doesnt matter if there were loved ones or enemies back there. What does matter is that this is the time to start anew.

Staying in the past would just land you in the mud.

-Raith
Gaia Forums » MISC Forums » Forum & Sticky Archive » Breedable/Changing Pets Roleplay

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